'Cause I'm just a girl, little ol' me, Don't let me out of your sight...I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite, So don't let me have any rights...

I sometimes feel that for someone who doesn’t know me except through my blog, they probably wonder a little at my seemingly endless alcohol capacity and they probably even think I’m somewhat of a ditzy blonde type character what with only writing about partying on my blog. So I am now going to try and dispel all these notions by telling you more about myself and the things I love slightly more than Bacardi Rum… only slightly, mind ;-)

I love my significant other, mind, body and soul. You would think we’d be mildly bored after 7.5 years (getting quite close to 8) but honestly, without wanting to get all sentimental and mushy, it’s even better than when we first started out because now we know who we really are and how we fit together whereas then we were such clueless kids stumbling our way through the sweltering Madras social scene and those first couple of cold, lonely Melbourne years. Now, the 7 year itch has well and truly passed and each day is better than the next!!

I love my baby sister and she is the only person so far I would willingly take a bullet for!

I love my parents and all of my immediate family in spite (or maybe because) of their exasperating ways

I heart Labradors (and ok, most dogs)… again this is mind, body and soul. One despondent look (particularly from Labs) and I am a slushy pile of putty for them to do with me what they will. I love and miss Holly and Chocolate and Fudge and Biscuit and Ginger and Teddy and Rusty and Tipsy and Frosty. Now is probably a good time for me to introduce the latest additions to my family in Madras… presenting Tipsy the Holly look alike and Frosty the little mongrel rescued from the Blue Cross (yet another birthday present)!

I love my friends and I have some pretty darn great ones… I believe you can tell a lot about a person from their friends so obviously I am pretty freaking AWESOME since my friends are pretty freaking cool too!

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I love my job but I do feel gratified when I have a clear deliverable to work towards and there’s a total adrenalin rush until I hand it in… then I get a bit bored because the fun part is over and I hate going back into the document to simply change things based on feedback… it’s just too boring. But I do love a glowing commendation on a job well done. I guess it’s hard to really love a job when it’s a job, rather than a profession. I never really leaned towards a doctor/lawyer type of thing… I think the closest I got was wanting to be a chartered accountant. Not sure what happened there… I think computers came along and that was the end of that. So 8 years later, I’m still in IT and I can’t complain… I think mostly I do like systems and processes better than I like numbers. But on some days, I’m not so sure…

There are plenty of other things I love in my life but they might be on par with a party night out or just under… I love reading… I’ll read absolutely anything although I do prefer fiction. Reading and my alcohol intake do not go so well together because no matter what the time and irrespective of how blind I am, I will pick up the book on the bedside table without fail and attempt to read… sometimes I’ve managed to get through whole chapters but the next day it’s all such a blur, I have to go back and start over. And this has happened time and time again… nonetheless I persevere…

I love eating chocolate and going out for Italian and Indian food. I love drinking my hot chocolate in the mornings, even in summer… although I’ve cut them down to about 2 a week. I love flowers… white roses and colourful tulips… I like going to the movies or curling up on the couch with a DVD… I am also a total couch potato Monday to Thursday and have numerous favourite must see TV shows per day. I love eating potato chips and ketchup… I’m not sure why I’m bringing this up but I suddenly thought of them and can’t help drooling… I completely drench the chips in ketchup and then mix them up with my hands and eat them like rice and yogurt… it is to freaking die for! I also love eating ice cream but that’s the last thing I’m going to say about eating since this is not a food post! I love listening to music on my way to and from work and I love singing along to live guitar playing. I like reading other peoples blogs (when they update them… hmph!) and my newest online obsession is Facebooking! I also like catching up with friends on MSN, the phone or email but there’s never quite enough of it, one feels. Oh my god, how could I forget… I love owning new stuff (and hence, have to carry out the necessary evil of shopping to get there)… I love driving with the sun roof open on a warm sunny day and I love crossing the river when walking back home (because as you may or may not know, I heart bodies of water)… I love sleeping… if there is no alcohol in my system, I can sleep and sleep for even 12 hours each night. But alas, alcohol does not mix well with my sleep patterns and I jump right up with the slightest noise and the smallest toss or turn from the person lying next to me. It’s just punishment for how well I sleep during the week I feel. This is why my Saturday/Sunday mornings are always crap! That’s enough for now about things I like to do.

Concerning my personality in general, clearly I am not blonde and I am certainly not ditzy… I’m quite the opposite of ditzy really… I’m a control freak so I know exactly what’s happening when… that doesn’t mean I don’t go with the flow and don’t do stuff unless its been planned and I’ve been told well in advance… if such a spontaneous plan comes up though, I mentally have to readjust stuff in my head to get my life back into sync i.e. laundry postponed until tomorrow, grocery shopping absolutely has to be done today so whatever happens getting to Safeway by 6:00 pm, after two beers won’t have mood to cook dinner so any leftovers available… nope… dinner out then, etc. etc. I also feel I have borderline OCD but let’s dwell on that another time. I guess another thing about me is that I am rather a lazy person but once I get started on something, there’s no turning back. So this is where my mental to do list helps me move my ass because when it gets over 5 items, I’m in serious trouble and that motivates me enough to cross off at least 3 items in the one go. So yes, I am also a bit of a procrastinator. This also explains my couch potato habit for most of the working week… that’s why, when the weekend rolls around, the promise of alcohol and fun times with good friends is what perks me up and gets me off the couch. And once I’m off it, I am never very keen to get back to it (metaphorically speaking) and insist on partying till the cows come home.

This leads in nicely to the next topic – the one regarding my bottomless pit of desire for Bacardi Rum… it is not true at all that I have a bottomless pit… quite the contrary… sometimes I am terribly hungover and no amount of coaxing will convince my stomach that drinking again is just the ticket to recover… at other times, my stomach gets full really quickly and again no amount of coaxing will convince my stomach that 2 drinks is not an acceptable limit at which to stop drinking. Then there are other times where I stupidly start off with beer or wine and then try and switch and oh boy does that fail miserably most times. If I’m lucky I just get really tired and want to pass out. If I’m unlucky, I feel like I’m seasick and almost always have to throw up to recover. So as per that other control freak aspect of my personality, since I know what I’m doing most weekends i.e. birthday parties, etc., I am mentally prepared to have a great time so somehow that helps me drink heaps and since I am also off the couch, I really just love to stay out and party on! Sadly, not everyone is off the same temperament and on most occasions I am forced home when people around me are passing out or the party is packing up! But look me up on the Sunday and chances are I am back to my couch potato mode and it will take rather a lot to induce me to drink and even then I will stop at like 2 or 3. Luckily, whether I have plans on Friday or not, I am totally up for anything because it’s just terribly depressing to hang out at home on the couch on a Friday evening and I am only tempted to do it if I have a very very big Saturday planned.

That about wraps it up for now. My next post will go back to it’s partying ways and be all about the last one month and it’s 101 birthday parties, concerts and other events. Things are also brightening up considerably... glorious daylight savings time is back again and we've had a couple of wonderfully warm summer days... This weekend I am off to the eastern most tip of mainland Australia – a delightful little coastal town called Byron Bay. Going with 6 others so should be heaps of fun. And in the meantime, be safe and drink responsibly :-p

It's so hard to get old without a cause, I don't want to perish like a fleeing horse,Youth's like diamonds in the sun, and diamonds are forever

So I've got to be as quick as I can... the laptop battery is so going to die in all of 15 mins and I'm so not braving the cold in the lounge just to freaking blog... I mean, this is spring and all but it's like mid-winter really... it's not fair, really, but there ain't much we can do. Anyway, enough about the stupid weather... I hope and I pray for warmer weather soonish!!

So the strange thing is, how that song from the last time still has a total hold on me... I mean, honestly, that's the only reason I'm even blogging tonight... if I hadn't had to listen to that song, I wouldn't even be awake right now. And I don't even freaking like Coldplay... as a matter of fact, I'll go as far to say I hate Coldplay...

That'll probably ruffle a few freaking feathers... but what can I say or do...

So anyway, I had the awesomest birthday... I think it always helps when your birthday is on the weekend... that means the whole world can party with you without missing work and feeling guilty for whatever reason. So my birthday began on Thursday evening when we prepared to go to the Steely Dan concert... it was full on... we had many drinks and tapas and then headed to Rod Laver and once the concert started, fully sipped on the hip flask and before I knew it, the concert was finished. I mean, I like Steely Dan and all but I'm not their biggest fan. I really love Dirty Work but they had some total Mary J. Blige type character sing it which just totally pissed me off and ruined it for me!!! Anyway, we all had a blast though and had many more drinks after the concert also. Friday was a total mess... recovering from Thurs night and attempting to clean the house in preparation for Sat night but not really making any progress. Anyway, Fri evening arrives and my lover and me go to dinner and have a couple of drinks and then he pretends like I absolutely have to go to this friends house to say Hi and way before I get there, I totally know all my friends are going to be there drinking away. So that's exactly what happens... and I have many drinks on my birthday eve with my best friends and we smoke cigars and all, just for a change. And at midnight, a home made cake comes out and champagne and all... and many overseas calls also arrive and it was just freaking awesome!!!

At about 5 am, we stagger back home and I open all my presents from my lover and try a few things on as well and somehow get to bed by about 5:30 am... alas, I am forced awake by 10 am thanks to many more overseas phonecalls... seriously, it is the only day in the year, I actually give a crap about my mobile and keep it beside me at all costs!! Anyway, there is no hope left after that and I still don't even have the energy left to clean and all... at about 6 pm, things are exactly the same and I am just many more phonecalls down. Finally, I force myself to get my act together and sleepwalk my way through cleaning the house and get ready and stuff and before I know it, it's 9 pm and my guests are arriving. And from then until 7:30 am, Sunday morning, who even freaking knows what happens. It was just madness all around. It was really awesome. And I got soooooooooo many presents, it was crazy. So much fun. And I think everyone really had a blast, that was really the best part. And the biriyani that I ordered totally got cleaned out in all of 2 hours... it was crazy... not even one grain of rice was left over. :-)

Absolutely nothing exciting has happened since then... I mean, obviously the week was completely crap and this weekend was supposed to be easy but with someone's birthday drinks last night and someone else's birthday drinks tonight, it's hard to slow down!!! So it's not strictly true that nothing exciting has happened, but for me, my birthday and all it's associated shenanigans are the eptiome of party time for the year.

The strangest thing... for a few years in between, life was strange... it wasn't as happening and I honestly wondered how smart I'd been with some of the choices in my life!!! But now, I can honestly say that I love my life more than ever and it doesn't really matter that I'm 26... I still feel 18 and my life is still as exciting as if I was indeed 18 :-) I mean, honestly, 18 till I die baby!!

Speaking of babies, my best friend's baby is almost 2 years old and obviously I still haven't met him yet but amazingly he's learnt my name... it's sooooo adorable... I spoke to him the other day and he's totally like Hi, Bye, Ithi.. awwwww.. sooo cute!!

But speaking of other babies, my baby sister is now 18... she still totally breaks my heart though!! I can't wait to hang with her in December and hopefully I can show her the way. Oh my god, did I mention the fact that she got a freaking Labrador puppy for her birthday... I'm so happy cos I get to hang with this puppy in a couple of months but I feel so sad that I can't get a dog of my own :-( And apparently, she looks like just like my beloved Holly... that figures... Christmas and New Years is going to be soooo weird this year. I'm not exactly sure why...

So I've decided to open up commenting again... haha... I'm really not sure why I stopped... but, whatever...

Sometimes when you take a step back and think about life in general, it's a bit frightening... because life is incredibly strange and it really takes you full circle... with the things you do and the people you meet and the way you change...

Also, this Forever Young song... I used to love the original by Alphaville until I actually listened to Youth Group and then it was totally like, oh my god, what were Alphaville thinking?! That just goes to show... old is not always necessarily best... this song I only like the remixed Youth Group version now... Alphaville is just yawn... but there are obviously other songs where this doesn't apply at all and old still rules!!!

It's going to be another freaking awesome year... what else is new ;-)

Forever young, I want to be forever young

And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part… you really broke my heart…

Wow… can’t lay claim to the mid-20’s for much longer… how the world turns and how the time flies… It’s like I blinked my eye and there went my childhood and my adolescence… happy days, all.

And now here I stand, a young adult… I guess this is kind of the end of another era… my last unmarried birthday… by next year this time, I’ll be someone’s wife… woah… that just feels slightly older than young adult.

Anyhoo (sorry Guitarman :-))… as per my new life outlook, no melancholy about getting older. Instead, I will embrace the fact that I am technically another year wiser… (really, I am)!

So since we last chatted, that weekend didn’t turn out to be quiet as originally thought after all… Fri night was a drinks on the town session, Sat was an all day bbq and beer session (not that I drank) and Sun was quiet recovery. Then the weekend after, again, the Fri night was a drinks on the town session and this one went kinda outta control again what with agua shots and jagerbombs yet again… we need to sooooo stop visiting that bar… the bartender is our new friend and he fully encourages us. I vaguely remember everyone coming back to our place and playing Pink Floyd and Toto and singing at the top of our lungs at 4 in the morning… poor neighbours. That Sat was another wedding dress expedition… I am soooooo over it. Then we hung out in a music store for about 2 hours while the Guitarman purchased a brand new electric guitar and I mused the sad fact that that guitar of mine has just been sitting in it’s stand untouched for almost a year… I really must learn a song or two… let that by my resolution in this new year of my life. Then we went to the bar beside the river of yours truly fame for a couple of beers with a couple of friends. And then we welcomed back Sam newly returned from a trip home and I finished a whole packet of murukus by myself… it was unreal heaven, and the best part was I got to take a packet home with me (not that it lasted long)!!

Finally, last weekend was a trip to some friends’ parents’ house out in country NSW called Grifith. It’s about 5 hours drive and we rented a people mover to take all 7 of us… the car was great… it was roomy and comfy and had 8 cup holders which were incredibly convenient because even the esky so sweetly fit between the front 2 sweets so it was almost tooooo easy to fix drinks the whole way up. And that’s just what we did… it was awesome… we also had great music so we sang a lot and after the stars came out it was just totally surreal to look at the sky, sip my drink and sing along to the songs of my youth and occasionally laugh at something someone else says or something I say myself. I also remember stumbling in to meet the parents and eating the most amazing biriyani we’ve eaten in a while since it was all so wonderfully home cooked. Oh, and who can forget the cutlets… my all-time favourite item.

The Saturday we woke up after very few hours of sleep and after a healthy brunch of idli, dosa, departed on a winery tour since the Region is big on wine and wine making. Tasted about 3 wines and the buzz from the previous night just came rushing back. Met a few cute dogs, took pictures beside a body of water called Lake Wyungan, and then paid a visit to a farm. It was a total Ol’ McDonalds farm with sheep and horses and chickens and dogs and a special little treat… we see kangaroos hanging out in the wild. It was a great experience… we got a crash course in sheep shearing and crop planting and land leveling and we saw first hand the impacts of the drought and water restrictions… so terrible… it really breaks my heart.

The rest of Saturday was a blur with plenty and plenty of alcohol and more cutlets and some mouth watering pork curry, potato and paneer mutter. It was unreal… for real. One by one people dropped like flies until there were only 3 of us left (me, as usual… I can party till the cows come home, man)…

The Sun was truly terrible… the channa bhutoora and chicken chettinad helped ever so slightly. And then it was time to depart back to Melbourne… it was actually a fun drive back considering we were all so f***ed up… we smoked a couple, laughed about the events of the weekend, watched the fingers of God reach out through the sky, I tripped out watching the trees this time, sang even more songs, witnessed a truly insane wind and dust storm, stopped at a 24/7 diner for coffee and a snack only to have the power go out and them telling us to get out… it was spooky… very Texas Chainsaw Massacre like… the wilderness, the storm, the power cut and everything… But we reached Melbourne safely after all. What an awesome trip!!!

It didn’t end there… Mon night, we caught up to eat the leftover food the parents sweetly sent back with us… was even better because we were actually able to remember what we were tasting this time. Also, considering the excesses of the weekend, it was mind boggling that we all had a few drinks that night. I decided to put it in my birthday week quota ;-)

And now we are here in the middle of my birthday week… it’s only getting better… I have the Steely Dan concert tomorrow, not sure what I’ll get up to on the Friday but I have my presents to look forward to at midnight, and then the birthday on Sat with all the exciting overseas phonecalls and finally, the mandatory partaaaaay on Sat night!!! It’s going to be great. I really miss my sister though and wish we could celebrate our birthdays together… it’s hard letting go… it really breaks my heart. Happy birthday baby sister…

The days get shorter and the nights get cold, I like the autumn but this place is getting old

Dear me… this isn’t a very happy time of the year at all. Blustery winds, cloudy skies, shorter days but longer hours of darkness, average temperatures of 14 degrees, the cold, always the cold… one can never escape the cold… while walking to work, at work (that goddamn central air conditioner… temperature control, my ass… controlled for polar bears and Eskimos perhaps!), walking back home, the living room because the balcony doors are kept open when making dinner, the bedroom because of the low temperatures all around… some relief is achieved when finally one curls up under the quilt to go to sleep… but then of course, there are the extremities to warm up… there is something about hands and feet in cold weather – they refuse to get warm and even when they do, expose them for 2 seconds and they become ice cold to the touch again. Goddamn weather! And it is only today that we are officially in winter which means the past couple of weeks were just an affectionate prelude…

There’s another thing about these crossover months before and after winter… fucking what to wear… in the last two or three weeks I have delved deep into my closet and pulled out all the layers I own and have worn 4-5 layers at a minimum on workdays. I may seem a tad bundled up compared to other pedestrians on occasion, but tough… I value my comfort over feeling like a chronic pneumonia patient with all the layers. Anyway, they aren’t some big fluffy layers… I wear a regular cotton top (sometimes two), cover that up with a light cardigan or v-neck sweater, my suit jacket next and finally a winter coat. All this means that come this time of year, my laundry load triples and as I am such a huge fan of this delightful household chore to begin with, it adds to the overall cheer and wellbeing. On the rare occasion that the sun does shine however on my way to work, I get slightly bogged down by the layers and resort to carrying them by hand. BUT… they will definitely be required when I leave work after 5:00 pm and all is once again dark and chilly. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the gloves… I fished them out prematurely a few weeks ago also and did wear them on a couple of days when I walked home in a mild 12 degrees.

At least if it rained all the time… it would add some sparkle to the bleakness… but the drought continues and showers are few and far between… and boring at that… no thundery lightning filled storms bringing big fat drops of rain and hail, falling fast and furious. Perhaps I should move to England to gratify my desire for cold rain. Of course I can also just move back to India where the warm monsoon lashings would also make me so happy.

But going back to my clothing issues… soon I will have to start carrying the beanie in my handbag for days when the wind chill has the potential to cause you a brain freeze. My ears are normally covered by headphones and then there is one final item in the normal winter ensemble, namely, the trusty scarf… I am not, however, a big fan, because I find my hair and earrings always get in the way so I sometimes use one when my hair is tied up and so my neck is normally the only body part exposed to the cruel weather, and face of course. Oh yes, that other extremity… the nose… it sometimes feels like an icicle extension of human flesh and the only solution to combat face exposure is a ski mask or balaclava but even I am not that vulnerable to the cold to resort to such measures.

For the lower body, one wears stockings and closed shoes and if wearing a skirt (although I wear skirts less and less in winter and tend to bring them back into my daily wardrobe only in far off September), knee length boots help ever so slightly. Having said that I was wearing a skirt on Tuesday with stockings and shoes and nearly got knocked over on my way to work with gale force winds of 70km per hour… so very droll! I was dreading my lunchtime venturing out but I had no choice because Tuesday was the day I gave up my Indian citizenship and took up my Australian one… sob sob… my body, mind and soul will of course always belong to the Indian motherland but my passport will now declare I belong to Australia and help me to cross most geographical borders with ease and zero visa costs. But more on this later…

Then there is the issue when stopping off for a spot of shopping on the way home. Freaking layers… if you’re lucky you get two hooks in a change room and its impossible to hook all your layers and the clothes you want to try on all on the two hooks not to mention the added time it takes to take everything off and put it back on again so you take in as many items as you possibly can the one time because there’s no way you’re going through the process of undressing and dressing more than once and this of course makes that tiny little cubicle look more like a disaster zone than a change room.

And then, how about the total lack of leaves this “fall”… remember how I wrote about the wonderful falling brown leaves and me delightfully skipping through piles of them… obviously the city and Southbank are not all that tree lined or maybe it’s more they have a higher percentage of city workers collecting and getting rid of the leaves because not ONCE have I spotted a single healthy pile of leaves… a stray leaf here and there on the sidewalk because it’s probably just dropped off the tree but nothing more. So much for that little autumnal joy of mine!

At least we still go out at night and people are still entertaining with house parties now and then… this of course opens up a whole other can of worms when it comes to what to wear! You want to look hot and sexy and some 5 layers are not very conducive to this but you also want to feel warm and toasty without having to compromise on how you look. It’s really hard I tell you… I’m taking it one weekend at a time. I guess it also depends on where you’re going. If it’s a house party, we take a cab there and back so skimpy clothing is tolerable except for stepping outdoors to smoke but as I only ever need to smoke some 5 cigarettes in a row when I’m down some 6 drinks, the odds are the rum has gotten me quite warm and toasty by that stage anyway. If it’s going out for drinks in the city and general pub hopping, you want to be sure to have a jacket at the very least over the skimpy top because there tends to be walking to the bar, walking between bars, maybe having to stand in line at a bar, and finally walking back home but again by this time I’m probably too warmed up by drink to care. But all this means of course that your jacket ends up smelling like an ashtray and as if laundry wasn’t enough, there’s extra dry cleaning in winter too. Having said that, all licensed premises go completely smoke free come July 1 so no more hair and clothes smelling like an ashtray. This means of course that I will probably cut down drastically on my smoking while drinking habit but since I am not some chain smoker to begin with, I wonder if it will have any effect on the totally addicted ones. But finally, sweater dresses have made a huge comeback this season and I have stocked up on a few and I have to say they help one look hot and keep warm all at the same time so there is hope yet for this winter. But since I can’t wear them every single weekend, I will have to endure some level of discomfort at some time or another.

But enough of cold weather and fashion… recapping the events of the last two months… various birthday parties and housewarming parties and farewells and general drinking events… some good ol’ sake to warm the bones and the faithful Bacardi standby. One Saturday, we also hosted a small engagement party at home for all our friends here and was heaps of fun. I decided we must have at the very least, a colour theme, so since I had this black & silver sequined skirt I’d been meaning to wear for months but never got around to, I made the theme black & silver and I have to say was rather impressed with the turnout. Of course there was more black than anything else but it was still quite amusing. As someone put it, it looked like we were all hanging out at the funeral of someone we were really happy had died… hehe. Here’s a picture of the invite designed by sister Rat… I composed the poem.

Here are the ladies in a group picture… what a svelte bunch we look like

Here are the men in a group picture… what a posh lot they look like

Then, last weekend my fiancé organised a go-karting event and about 13 of us raced. It was mad. There was only me and another girl and the rest were boys but I only came third last as I managed to beat one boy too. Unfortunately he was a friend of a friend so I couldn’t laugh at him and taunt him appropriately about being beat by a girl!! Just my luck! All this racing was done in some 12 degree temperature and the track was super slippery cos it was so cold and it was at night. When we finished, I thought my fingers would fall off in numbness… if I briefly took my hands off the steering wheel, it was hard to position them again because they were so freaking frozen. So we had about 10 minutes of qualifying and 15 minutes of racing and it quite crazy. By the last few laps, I was craning my neck most eagerly around the last turn in the hope of seeing the chequered flag. After, we went to the city for many drinks and dinner.

So that has been my so-called life for the past two months. Also, any teeny weeny itty bit of motivation I might have ever had to visit the gym in summer has vanished without a trace what with the cold weather and getting home in such complete darkness. Days until daylight savings time begins: 149… sigh!

I don't quite know, how to say, how I feel

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

Those three words
I've said too much
But not enough

Oh my god, this is one of them songs… I haven’t had one of these songs for a while… you know, one of them songs you listen to over and over one night… I don’t know man, I have these songs once ever so often and then for a long time, I completely lose interest pretty much in music all together and suddenly that song comes along that brings it all back… So tonight is one of them nights, and this is one of them songs. It’s called Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and I’ve heard it on tv/radio/in the stores for the last I don’t know how many months but never had it but tonight I’m just like, I have to have it and so I downloaded it and right now its on iTunes repeat and I guess it will be on repeat until I finish this post… and I imagine that’s gonna take a while. Unfortunately this is the same song that was the finale for Grey’s freaking Anatomy this year in Oz (oh, sorry, 2006, last year it seems) but I hate the freaking show so it hurts that I like the song so much but it’s ok, I’ll adjust for tonight…

Oh right, so first off, Happy Birthday dear friend Rael… we missed you over Christmas and New Years and I guess it’s going to be a while before you’re back again after your jettsetting global adventures… So anyway, I’m just back after many drinks at his birthday party and I thought now is a good time as any to update blog… haha, it’s taking twice as long to spell right, but anyhow…

Where the hell do I begin??? I guess I could begin with the first couple of nights that they got into town (they being Rita and Phil aka auntie and uncle but never wanting to be introduced as such)… oh man, it was the most awesome time ever… they’re the coolest people I know… on par with my baby sister and my baby cousins… and none of them are babies no more… oh god, I miss my family!!! It just went by so quick…

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

So anyhow, there was Christmas prep with the tree and presents and shit and then there was Christmas Eve where I forced everyone to stay up pretty much and so we tried to go to Crown Casino and stuff and the whole world tried to convince me not to go to Midnight Mass, but I went anyway, by myself, I might add… It was good though, I sang carols soulfully and missed my parents and sister like no tomorrow and then the next day my mom refuses to even believe I went to Church… geez, I’m a devil, but not that much of a devil that I’d lie about going to Christmas Mass… But anyway, I got home and we all wished each other and then exchanged the few hundred presents we had for each other and it was so good. I got so many cool clothes… I’ve pretty much worn all of them this whole little holiday of mine… Christmas is awesome!!!

Christmas Day was insane in its own little way… I’d had about 4 hours of sleep and then we went to this lunch where everyone was gathering at and oh my god, I drank like 3 drinks of Old Monk which was on offer and then it finished so I went back to Bacardi but basically we were all there from 1 pm until about 7 pm and who even knows what happened in between… This sweetheart was one of the highlights of my Christmas… no other dogs in my life at this point… there’s Rusty of course, but he’s so freaking far away!!!! Don’t worry though Holly, I still think of you evey fucking day… why? Why? Why were you taken away from me?

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

Then I had about one good night’s sleep after 5 days and Boxing Day I conscioulsy said I would not even take a sip of alcohol and I didn’t and that night we flew to Cairns and got to Port Douglas really late but it was sooooo good to be back in tropical climates… guess what, so called summer in Melbourne, it freaking hailed on Christmas Day… too depressing! The only thing I don’t miss about tropical climates is freaking lizards… gross as “pallis”… gross man, they creep the shit out of me… But anyway, we chilled on the beach, we ate some awesome meals and then we went on a tour to one of the outer reef areas… I tried scuba diving and unfortunately for me it didn’t go so well :-( The water just went fully into my nose everytime I tried so I didn’t do it eventually and went snorkelling instead and went on some strange ocean walk where they put this space type helmet on my head and I walked about 6 metres down the ocean floor and it was just quite mad… it was stupid man, I was just like, what the fuck is this shit… but I got to touch some fish… haha, don’t know if I ever wanted to touch fish… anyhow, the Great Barrier Reef is awesome… and the warm water is unbelievable… the last day we went on some Rainforest tour and went on a cable car ride a couple of thousand metres high and it was pretty fucking scary! And then we took some scenic railway and I think I saw some Aboriginals in Australia after 4.5 years finally! The trip was soooo good… I’m sooo going back and I’m so getting certified to go diving so I’ll have more time to get used to the breathing underwater crap!



Then we got back to Melbourne and had a whole other kind of trip… haha, I so don’t want to talk about it… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… there are some trips better left unsaid!!! All I am willing to say is how much sense Penny Lane by the Beatles makes now!!! And I am sooo Penny Lane!!!



If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Then there was New Years Eve… I suppose it could be considered rather tame compared to various other years… but it was great… all our near and dear ones in this city were around us! I had a great time… one of the best moments was talking to baby sister dear when we were almost going to bed at 5:30 am and it was just her midnight then. Man, I don’t know how she’s going to grow up without me around… I don’t know if I’m a positive influence, but I’m certainly her older fucking sister and that has to count for something… well, I’m not around either way, so I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best!

And then there was New Years Day where I walked around in a daze and we went to Mexican Margarita dinner and then we went to a drive in movie and I freaking slept and I don’t think I’ve ever slept at a movie before, drive in or otherwise, so believe me when I say I was fucking done to have done that! And then there was their last day where we went to the wildlife sanctuary and I finally got to see a freaking kangaroo after 4.5 years… I don’t quite know how to say how much it meant to be able to finally see one… and they are so freaking adorable!! And then we got fucking wasted that night and then they left :-(…

All that I am
All that I ever was
It’s here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I so don’t enjoy being at work right now :-( Life sucks when you nothing and no one to look forward to!!

Man, it’s 2007… we can’t even pretend to be little kids anymore even though that’s all I’ll ever be at heart… what’s up with this shit that we have to pretend to be responsible adults… and I don’t even mind being a responsible adult… but, it just sucks when your age and the year kinda dictates that you have to be one… 18 til I die baby…

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

This song makes me so sad though… I don’t quite know why… it just reminds me of a time when it wasn’t like this… of course, at the time, I wasn’t satisfied at all… all I wanted was to get away… I guess, just forget the world… but it was that same time that so many amazing things happened… I remember some days, I’m not sure what we did but I know we laughed a lot and the hours just went by so quick and we thought it was never ever going to get any better and maybe it hasn’t… and I remember some nights, the first few times we went out, we went to dinner each time and then we’d buy a quart of Old Monk rum each and get fucking wasted on that one little quart… and then we’d pick up some friends who’d we give some more quarts to, haha, and then we’d go to EC-41 and we’d both get in for free because we were cool that way… that’s a whole other story, how I got a lifetime free membership to EC-41… it’s a brilliant story, but not tonight… so then we’d be in EC-41 and most nights most everyone else was there… but there were some nights that it was pouring down rain and hardly anyone’d be there… but we were there… and we’d dance and we’d sing and we’d drink and we’d smoke and we’d laugh our asses off… so it isn’t as easy as that anymore… nobody does the same shit anymore… there isn’t the one place to go to anymore, the one place that is guaranteed to get you into a good time…

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me your garden that's bursting into life

I don’t know what’s going to become of us… I mean, at one point in your life you’re so used to having a certain group of people around all the time and then one day that just doesn’t happen no more and maybe you get a different group of people and that’s also just wonderful but what about that first group of people? How do you get them back into the groove? Because you miss them and love them like you did when you were 18-20??!! But perhaps they don’t remember it like you do, and it’s as stupid as chasing cars to them to even imagine that it could ever happen again! I’ve been having these dreams these last couple of weeks, all filled with old times and old people… such good times… and this is at a time in my life where I’m completely enjoying my current life (apart from work of course)! I don’t know, I wake up highly disturbed because I feel like something’s gone terrribly wrong in my hometown and there’s nothing I can do to make it ok. I swear, it feel so real I honestly wonder what happened that I should dream of all of them so vividly… these kinda dreams haven’t happened since the first time I left India all those years ago.

I guess right now I’m sorta just hoping for good things whenever it is I get to go back again… I mean it’s always good, everytime I go back, but sometimes it just fucking kills you… I mean, it can only kill you when you’ve been away… but it fucking kills you anyway… but I love them all… and I miss them all… and that’s my utopian dream… that they could all be here with me…

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know how to say how I feel… I’m still listening to the stupid song and it’s daylight now so that’s freaking great… I guess I will try to just not sleep until later tonight I think cos I gotta go to work early tomorrow morning anyway… But so, I was just flipping through the few hundred photos from the last 10 days and it just has to make you smile doesn’t it… the way people look in them… so happy… maybe they were drunk at the time, and sometimes they weren’t, believe it or not… but we all look so freaking happy… and a lot of the New Years Eve ones, we’re just kinda sticking our hands up in the air with the Christmas tree in the background and lots of crazy light effects happening because the fancy ass camera wasn’t on auto focus and it’s just funny… it’s just a perfect reflection of how people feel/felt/will feel… I hope it’s a good year… for everyone I know and love… something tells me it has the potential to be… the year a lot of things change for a lot of people in a good way… we’re getting old man, and there’s no denying that! I’m no longer early 20’s, I’m mid-20’s, my boyfriend will be “late” 20’s after his birthday this year, poor guy… but it’s ok… I think we’re entering a completely new exciting phase of all our lives… Happy 2007!!!

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

There’s something wrong with the world today, I don’t know what it is. Something’s wrong with our eyes. We’re seeing things in a different light, and

Bushfires are a way of life in Australia particularly in the dry summer months. So normally you hear about it in the news and you feel sorry for the loss of wildlife and property and sometimes human life but mostly it’s as remote as the monsoon floods in Bombay or the hurricanes in the US. But not this year… this year is looking to be the biggest bushfire season in I’m not sure how many years and they are predicting these fires will go on for the next three months and a few millions of hectares of lands will be destroyed in the process. But what is really really frightening is how the smoke from these fires burning a couple of hundred of kilometres away has been consistently making it to the city at least once a week until the wind changes again. I am looking out my window and literally not able to see beyond a couple of blocks... the smoke has been getting into the ventilation systems of all the buildings and there’s this constant burning smell in the air and sometimes our eyes water… and this is us, sitting here safe and sound in the urban jungle… I can’t even begin to imagine what the fire fighters and other rescue workers are going through on the front lines and all the other affected communities and towns. And everything goes back to climate change and global warming… I remember in class 8 or 9 I wrote a critical composition on global warming and my teacher said it was damn good… I don’t think I chose that topic, it was just given to us but I can’t even remember what I wrote. What on earth could I have known about global warming then? I vaguely remember something about the ozone layer and now at 25, that’s still all I know. And that the big giant hole in it is right above Australia! So as distant as the effects of global warming and climate change are predicted to be, they’re already here. And let me tell you, walking on the streets when its 35 degrees, with the sun being blocked by a grey ash smelling canopy of haze is incredibly eerie. Almost like a ghost town…

But on to cheerier topics… like Christmas… what an incredibly cheery time it is… they call it the silly season and we have been having the silliest times with Christmas and birthday parties galore. At my work one which was an all day thing at the Yarra Valley which is a premier wine district close to Melbourne, we had like a mini Olympics thing all afternoon and me, little ol’ unfit me, managed to scale a 12 metre rock climbing wall. It was insane… like getting off the ground was hard and then I just kept going and suddenly I’d get stuck not knowing where to move my hands or legs next and I’d just hug that freaking wall and say, fuck, what now??!! But eventually I made it to the top and abseiled down and it was just awesome. So…never say never! Then they tried to convince me to join the company’s girl’s team for a triathlon next year which includes a 400m swim, 4km run and 10km bike ride and in the rush of all that adrenalin I said yes. But having had time to reflect and return to my lazy unfit lifestyle, I have completely changed my mind. But anyway, my team which was Team White won pretty much all the activities and so we won the whole thing and we all got little Christmas hamper thingies as presents… they have some awesome presents/events at this new workplace of mine. We got overnight type bags as our Christmas presents and had like two Christmas parties and then we’re constantly being invited to smaller team bbq’s, coffees and lunches. Like today, we had a coffee catch up as part of one team and then I went to a team lunch as part of another team. Good fun it is and tomorrow is my last day before heading off to Christmas break so even better.

Outside of work, attended various other sessions… went to a Christmas party like no other complete with Bad Santa and dirty as Christmas carols… was so funny. I got a lovely Santa hat with lights all around it so with batteries, I was lit up like a Christmas tree. Oh my god, I have so had it with shopping… shopping for people, shopping for the house, even grocery freaking shopping, when will it all end? I have been to the stupid shops pretty much every day in the last two weeks and I am so over it. I hope I don’t have to shop until June next year at least (although we all know I’ll be back at it long before then…)

So aunt and uncle have made it to New Zealand and will be arriving here tomorrow evening. Tomorrow is my last day of work before 10 sweet days of unbridled relaxation and entertainment. The four of us are heading up to Port Douglas on Dec 26 for some sun and sand and a long awaited glimpse of the Great Barrier Reef – so I can cross at least one of the natural wonders of the world off my list then. And then we’ll be back here for New Years… last year Goa, this year Melbourne. Different, but should be good still.

Last year this time I was in Madras and fully revelling in all the food, fun and attention. This year, I feel more remote from Madras than I’ve felt in a long time. There are always periods where I lose complete touch with what’s happening and feel disinclined to make an effort to find out because it’s nice for someone else to make the effort for a change.

The thing is though that home is where the heart is and my heart is still firmly ensconced in the house I grew up in and the room my sister now inhabits, with my parents and my baby sister and the can’t-live-without-‘em four legged friends. I posted a Christmas card to my parents today and when I was picking it, this one said something about thanking them for making Christmas so magical when I was a child and it’s amazing how thoughtful they continue to be even now and oh my god, it was all I could do to fight the tears back being in the crowded store and all (well, a few escaped) because every word was true and I feel guilty sometimes that I just don’t let them know how much they mean to me and take them for granted and even get really annoyed with them when spending long periods of time with them in the same house. So if they read this blog, they would know but of course they don’t so I hope the card will suffice.

Merry Merry Christmas and see you on the other side of 2007.

Spinning away, like the night sky On a hill, under a raven sky I have no idea exactly where I've been Some kind of change, some kind of spinning away

My last wild weekend in pictures (seems like eons ago now)… my first theme party in Australia I might add… Some kudos to myself (yeah, bring on the self congratulatory wishes) and fellow organiser Flowerchild.

The invite (designed by yours truly)


The banner (also me)


The party favours (some crappy $1 nail polish inside each takeaway box… it was really just for effect. How we attempted to draw martini glasses on the side with glitter glue and we found the most adorable martini glass stickers… but it was madness as we tried to finish all this at the 11th hour. Oh, lets not forget the thank you tags (thanks to Rat and sister Rat) and me maliciously mutilating it with a fork until Shutterbug came to the rescue with hole punch, blue tac and various other amenities.)

The video of NYC and Melbourne city images in the background (by Flowerchild… to set the mood)


The light bathroom reading


The food (yeah I apologise… you can’t really see it… but believe me when I say it was all very New York and hors d’oeveish. It was really cheap and easy too except driving what seemed like miles and miles to the little Middle Eastern bakery in the middle of nowhere for the mini quiches. How some people find these spots I don’t know but I nearly killed a few people turning into it. Yeah, goes against middle of nowhere if there were people to be killed but it’s complicated.)

The cocktails (of course, the best part… we had Apple Martinis and the signature Sex & the City drink, the Cosmopolitan. I know in my last post I said something about the tequila high… well the cocktail high is similar and much much better… I was floating… all night… brilliance… don’t miss the name tags so people didn’t lose their martini glass)

The bride


The hostesses


The girls (well, some…)


The dog (awwww…)


The boys (they had a stripper but from the pictures she looked old and boring… of course, they will beg to differ… in this pic, they’re pretending to be pirates, I don’t know why)





The merge (like on Survivor, but funner (I don’t believe that’s a word)… total chaos ensued… we ran out of all our booze and took to swigging straight from the Baileys bottle and some boys mixed tequila into the rest of the cocktails and boy was it foul… it completely messed some people up too)

The club (we went to this place called Marakesh which played the most awesome house and there were some incidents along the way as usual… let’s just say henceforth I will maintain a safe distance between my head and all things metal (cab doors, for example)… the club was a real blur… I was later told I consumed a shot or two of tequila which some people thoughtfully bought for everyone… this may or may not be true. I’m not even entirely sure how so many of us made it there cos it was in some alleyway and I guess there must have 1 or 2 less drunk people coordinating… I know that I will never be able to find the place again… I only remember dancing… and jumping up and down in happiness… and walking home in the freezing cold with the rain pouring down around us and ruining our fabulous dresses and high heels… and I also remember looking up at the heavens in wonder and delight… and laughing… and laughing…)

It was a perfect high and a perfect night. How come they all don’t turn out this way? I shouldn’t ask such silly complaining type questions… the truth is, I have nothing to complain about… except for a few dry spells here and there, the majority of my life has been pretty damn awesome.

On a completely unrelated note, I just walked through Myer which I tend to do when I need to go anywhere because once you get inside Myer, you can walk about 3 city blocks without having to be outdoors and on days like today that have a mild wind chill factor (ha, Melbourne weather does not understand the meaning of the word ‘mild’… it is either blistering heat or bone chilling winds) Myer is a most handy indoor route. So anyway, in Myer, they have already set up their 100 or so Christmas trees much in advance for the Christmas season. I’m sorry, but October? That is way too early even for me.

And where was I before the day, that I first saw your lovely face

Tomorrow is my baby sister’s birthday. Well she’s not really a baby anymore but since she was born when I was 8 years old, I’ll always think of her as my baby sister. So, tomorrow is also my birthday. And I’ve already heard all the jokes like ‘Wow, what planning’ and ‘Mallu family wanted to save on two birthday parties’… just for the record, we have always had two birthday parties (sometimes even a third for family) except for her 1st birthday and my 9th. That was a funny birthday party. It was at the Gymkhana club and there was a merry-go-round that I kept stopping every 5 seconds to go greet everyone who arrived and there was a puppet show that was damn stupid, or was it a magic show? But since so many people were invited for her 1st birthday party, I know I got TONS of presents!

Anyway, I still remember the day my father told me I was going to have a little brother or sister. For as long as I could remember before then, every time I prayed in Church or wished for something at Christmas, there was always a ‘Dear God, please give me a baby sister’. And He actually delivered on September 22, 1989. She was really due on the 25th but decided to come out early. That night, I remember I spent the night in my parents room as a treat (I was going to be 8 after all and it was time I got used to sleeping alone) and halfway through the night, I was woken up and sent off to sleep in my room and the next morning by the time I got all dressed up (how exciting was it to not wear a uniform for one day) and armed myself with the traditional birthday sweets to distribute at school, Her Highness had arrived. After a terribly exciting day at school (it was an exam day, so I couldn’t have taken the day off) talking about my new baby sister, I rushed to the hospital to see her for the first time. And she was everything I had always imagined she would be… a cute and soft and pretty and talcum powder smelling overall adorable bundle!

She was my babe, and she still is. I constantly told her she was the best birthday present I’d ever received. I was fascinated by her when she was a baby. I had my own real life doll to play with (although my Mom never let me cut her hair). And as a toddler, she was absolutely adorable, always saying the most outrageous things. And what a freaking temper she had… she’d throw the loudest of tantrums and yell she wanted things “now only” and when she was pissed off, she had this hilarious pout and I’d call her Miss Piggy (from the Muppet Show) and that would just make her madder than before…. Once, she got so mad, she just grabbed the glasses off my face and snapped them in two… I wanted to fucking kill her. But she was always incredibly apologetic later… she’d tear the posters on my room door in anger and later she’d slip a little note saying Sorry and beautifully decorated with flowers and all that childish jazz and Rs. 50 to buy new ones (she always had shitloads of cash also)!

So she was all very sweet and lovable for a long time and then from about age 8 to 14, she became the most insufferable Miss “I want to know it all and think I know it all” for miles around. She made it her life mission to find out exactly what I was up to, which boys I had a crush on, what I was spending my money own, etc. etc. She was really something else… she pissed me off on an almost continuous basis. We had very rare moments of bonding… like when we played with our dogs or watched Friends on TV every weeknight at 8 pm… and she still ran to my room some nights and made me hug her till she fell asleep if my parents had a fight, and she still slipped me little notes of apology when we fought. But mostly it was yelling and screaming or pretending she didn’t exist or telling her without fail that she was the worst birthday present I’d ever received.

Then I left to Australia and I’ve hung out with her thrice since. Last year, I was in India for two weeks and barely got to see her or talk to her but already I could tell that she was becoming a sweet young girl and wasn’t a silly kid anymore. And of course, she somehow managed to pop a sweet note saying she loved me into a suitcase that I took to Delhi for the wedding. This year, I really got to hang out with her day and night in Virginia for two weeks and it was just incredible getting to know her like that without the distraction of friends and parties and school and Madras in general. I found out again that she was really funny and sweet and really a cool chick… and did I mention, she’s become such a hottie… watch out world, here comes my sister, da bomb! The past couple of years I don’t know if it was just all the teenage angst or what, but she went totally grunge and wore all these horrid shapeless pants and loose t-shirts… then for this trip, she told me to buy her strappy tops and party tops and I was so excited she was over that phase I went out and bought her at least 15 funky items of clothing and boy, did she look hot in them!

Anyway, there’s something about baby sisters… they get a pretty bum deal sometimes… they become the slaves of older siblings, they are the proud recipients of hand-me-downs quite often and everything they ever do is compared to what their older sibling did at that age… but also, and they may not realise this, the need to protect and defend and nurture and pamper is so strong, its almost maternal… when I go shopping before heading home for a visit, I buy stuff for everyone, but at the top of my list and at every shop I go to, its always her I want to buy the world for in an attempt to make up for not being around in the last couple of years. And I know she adores me as I adore her and secretly she wants to be just like me (and she’s actually getting there, family get confused about who’s talking and who’s wearing what) and maybe she even misses me a little in the midst of her active high school life… I know that I miss her a lot these days and I can’t wait to see her again in December. I’ve written her a poem (this is the first poem I have ever written in my entire life, so the rhyming is pretty sad and basic) and I haven’t decided if I’m going to give it to her yet.

And as for me, I’m turning 24 tomorrow. I feel old old old! I know its not really old in the grander scheme of things, but I can’t help feeling my youth just happily slipping away from me. Anyway, I am expecting many cool presents and fun lunches and dinners and phone calls from all and sundry (oooh, now I get to get birthday wishes from bloggers too, what fun) and of course big birthday bash on Friday night! I’m still feeling old but I have the rest of the year to worry about that… the next few days is all about celebrating the fact that I was born ;)

The Looking Glass

I remember the day you were born
It stands clearly in my mind
From the minute I saw your tiny face
I never wanted to leave your side

You grew older and more cheeky
You were my favourite clown
Your antics always made me smile
If ever I was down

There were times I may have shouted
There were times you pissed me off
It was all a part of growing up
I regret I didn’t show more love

Now I look at you all grown up
And I feel so very proud
That my baby sister
Is adored by such a crowd

Today you turn sweet sixteen
And I turn twenty four
You are the perfect sister
I couldn’t have asked for more

We could be identical twins
Except we’re eight years apart
This is the lamest poem ever
Except its straight from the heart

They say we look alike
At times they get confused
The ears, the nose, the eyes
Our smiles when we’re amused

Sometimes the resemblance is uncanny
For example, when we frown
But there are differences too
Where my hair is black yours is dark brown

You have a dimple in your chin
And more than a single piercing in your ears
I have a dot on my nose
To see you cry fills my eyes with tears

We are forever tied
By the bond of birthdays and blood
With our best friends Chocolate and Holly (wish I had space to name them all)
We have frolicked in the mud

Before we can meet again
A lot of time may pass
But whenever you want to see me
Take a look in the looking glass

"Its all about world domination"

That’s what the chief protagonists of the game Risk kept telling me last evening when I asked what the game was about as I’d never played before. “So, what’s the game about”, I asked. “It’s all about world domination”, he replied. “So how do you play the game”, I asked. “You try and totally dominate the world”, he replied. Four hours and many defeated armies later I couldn't have put it better myself. Essentially the globe is equitably divided between all the players and you attack other territories and defend your own. And you have little infantry men standing guard on your territories and the image of these little men with their guns pointing upward are strangely chilling (especially when you’re getting ready to attack) even though you know its only a game. Although, some of us playing had difficulty remembering it was just a game… Wives annihilated husbands, friends turned on friends, Egypt declared “jihad” on North America, even my own S very seriously said to me, “If I have to get rid of you, I will… because this is war baby and there ain’t no love here”.

There was no winner… it might’ve turned into a physical fight if we’d continued to battle each other to the death on the board. We tried playing Dumb Charades after but that turned into a shouting match as well because I think we were all still smarting from our global domination efforts and the extra rowdy effect caused by all the beer. I’d forgotten how much of a hangover six bottles of beer can give you. This morning was NOT cool.

The first half of the weekend was also fun. Friday night was the usual piss-up and I met up with a few people I hadn’t seen in a while. There was some drunken Harry Potter discussion also I feel. At home, I felt the urge as I quite frequently do when drunk to call someone and I decided to honour my sister with the call this time but she had her phone switched off. And then I couldn’t stop myself from calling my Mom to find out what was up with that. I sooooo need not stop ringing my parents and/or grandparents when drunk. Surely they must know that I am heavily intoxicated.. the late hour, the slightly higher pitched voice, the extra laughing for things I normally wouldn’t laugh at, always some drunken boys in the background being loud and abusive and sometimes even singing the National Anthem… they were doing that on Friday. My parents were like what the hell is going on and I’m like they’re singing the freaking National Anthem and I have no clue why. But anyway, mostly they also just laugh and don’t bring up the drinking which is very good of them as the next morning I am always incredibly embarrassed about having called them whilst under the influence.

Something they said though just stuck with me the whole weekend. My 15 year old sister was out a friend’s house and they were on their way to pick her up and they said, “It’s almost like we’re alone now. Its like both our daughters have left home”. When I was 15 and treating my house like a hotel, my sister was always at home. But now she’s started leading her own life too and I can’t imagine how that must be for parents, to come home to an empty house all the time.

Anyway, for now, she’s still there on a part-time basis at least. Apparently she’s playing the “You let my older sister go out all the time” card quite often these days and that is such bullshit… I went out quite a bit but she still seems to be doing things a couple of years in advance and the path is just so much easier for her since I’ve done it all before. I think that after fighting with me tooth and nail about my partying lifestyle (okay, that was an exaggeration, they got over it in a few months) and seeing that nothing really happened to me, its easy for them to be mellow and more unconcerned about my sister. Still, they don’t have too much of a clue of what its really like for a teenager these days and I think that that 15 year old kid sister of mine will warrant some watching in the years to come!

The Public Take on Public Exams...

Witty words from my father on the above...

Dad: "A picture before the gold medal"
Mom: "Why are you not with your books"
V: "Something fishy"
Sister: "They must've suspected you to be a copycat"
K (Dad's friend): "How much did your dad pay the photographer"
Candidate herself: "Don't BUG"

I wonder if our pictures also would've come in some random Tamil newspaper like this for some random event. Surely they must have. An article on the way girls sit while writing exams - not very ladylike to show off their bloomers to all and sundry. It wasn't enough that we wore bloomers - we had to spend precious minutes taking care that we didn't show them off even though we had barely three hours in which to score at least 190/200 on an exam that they told us would decide the rest of our lives. The exam of course was completely forgotten in two months...

India needs to take a step back and stop putting so much pressure on so many young kids because the truth of the matter is nobody gives a fuck about what how many marks you got in school... Ah well, we were fooled into thinking they meant everything and generation after generation will continue to be fooled by the "high marks" protagonists who got to us too - parents, older siblings, teachers, nuns, and let's never forgot those geeky peers who went crazy on results day and ran around like headless chickens to check who got the highest marks. I don't think that people who know me would call me mean or spiteful but I just couldn't help deriving a perverse pleasure out of watching them cringe if I had got a higher mark. I just didn't care if my mark was the highest or not but they did and that's why I was free and they were not! They were bound to this belief that the highest mark meant that the world was their oyster... I wonder if they still hold on to that belief. I wonder how many of them were married straight after high school? I wonder how many of them chose to give up their careers to start a family? I wonder how many of them are unemployed or underemployed? I wonder how many many of them have really gotten to eat of the oyster? I guess we'll never know...

Let there be no misunderstanding - I believe education is important and knowledge is power and high marks are praiseworthy. I just believe that schools in India (not that I know much about schools in other countries) have taken the joy out of learning and wrongly told its students that a high mark is the only indicator of actually having learnt something. Maybe if they had just let children be children and not forced them into tuition they didn't even need from an early age, people would actually look back on their school days with fondness... The way I do... There was no pressure, no responsibility, just days of wonder at learning about things and events and cultures and theorems and experiments (can we ever forget that one thing in Chemistry we spent that whole rainy Saturday memorising - well I have obviously forgotten it now but I haven't forgotten the fun I had learning it)! And with the exception of my arch Nemisis Hindi, I did look forward to each new class...

But there must be so many others who remember their school days with loathing... Who would want to remember waking up at the crack of dawn to go over your school books before heading to school where the teacher was your enemy and everyone seemed smarter than you, and then home again but not for long because your five hour tuition in just about every subject had to be gotten to and then back home for homework (if you were lucky, you managed to do some of it at tuition) and then dinner and bed just to wake up the next morning and repeat it all over again.

I shudder just thinking about it... I'm so glad that wasn't me or most of my friends. Whether we had the high marks or not we had a decent childhood and adolescence.

People cannot go back to school and relive those days but they can change the way their children live... Lets hope they get to enjoy the simple life we did!