I've got this energy beneath my feet like something underground's gonna come up and carry me

Oh dear… I just have so much updating to do it’s not funny. I might also add that I am mildly miffed that I am getting such few comments considering the hue and cry about the fact that I disabled it in the first place :-p Lurkers, show yourselves now!!

November has been a bad month for me, health and well being wise… when I’m not falling sick, I’m merely falling. I’m so over it. My goal until the end of 2007 is to not get hurt… it’s a very ambitious goal but I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Speaking of the end of 2007, I can’t believe it’s so near… where the hell has the year gone?! I have barely 2 weeks left at work before I disappear for my much deserved 4 week break to India and I can’t wait.

I can’t even remember where I left off… September, October, November?! All I know is I (we) have been traveling at such breakneck speed, the crash was only inevitable… alas, it appears I am not invincible after all, but I am used to simply picking myself up and shaking off the debris and getting right back on the wild horse again. There has been so much going on… there’s been much of the usual… birthday parties, nights out on the town, concerts and shows (Phantom of the Opera – spectacular, I didn’t want it to end, Linkin Park – craziness all around AND we watched it from a corporate box which made for a nice change, The Killers – soooooo great and I think I have a teeny weeny little crush on Brendon Flowers)… there’s been much of the unusual… this crazy long drive to a rave which turned out to be 200km from Melbourne and in the middle of some windy hills and the text message said follow the signs and follow the fabric and my drunkenness was well tested as I looked out for tiny scraps of cloth, it started out as big floroscent t-shirts and then it became boxer shorts, until it finally dwindled away into tiny nothing scraps of fabric… and what was intriguing was just whenever we thought, enough, let’s just turn around and go back, we’d see another little piece of fabric… all of that to get to this crazy rave in the middle of nowhere with a huge bonfire blazing merrily and sound and lights and even fighting dogs… and there were stark Christmas trees that shone white in the headlights and when daylight was breaking on the drive back, there was a most surreal scene where it seemed like the valley beside the road was filled with soft fluffy clouds… but I didn’t think there were any valleys that deep on our route… was it really clouds… or fog… or a figment of my tired imagination? I only know that I had an insane urge for 1 tiny second to jump out of the car and float down into that soft inviting bed of white… then there was that trip to Byron… so much fun as expected… pictures, but not today… then there’s been food, so much food, quite unusual for us… and Diwali celebrated after almost 10 years for me… and so many friends visiting from overseas and interstate and other friends moving here to live… and who can forget the devilish hen’s night and the rambunctious bucks night (hearsay of course) and the Survivorish merge which is actually usual.

So again, I realized that my November number was almost up so quickly wrote this up to have this month on record too. I really don’t know what I’m aiming towards in terms of future blogging but at least I will try to make until the end of 2007. So tomorrow is the first day of summer and 25 days to Christmas and so much more hoo haa, it’s going to be unbelievably ridiculous. Sometimes I get very very tired.

I've got this sentimental heart that beats but I don't really mind (and) it's starting to get to me
Now.."Why do you waste my time?" is the answer to the question on your mind
And I'm sick of all my judges so scared of what they'll find
But I know that I can make it as long as somebody takes me home,every now and then...

And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part… you really broke my heart…

Wow… can’t lay claim to the mid-20’s for much longer… how the world turns and how the time flies… It’s like I blinked my eye and there went my childhood and my adolescence… happy days, all.

And now here I stand, a young adult… I guess this is kind of the end of another era… my last unmarried birthday… by next year this time, I’ll be someone’s wife… woah… that just feels slightly older than young adult.

Anyhoo (sorry Guitarman :-))… as per my new life outlook, no melancholy about getting older. Instead, I will embrace the fact that I am technically another year wiser… (really, I am)!

So since we last chatted, that weekend didn’t turn out to be quiet as originally thought after all… Fri night was a drinks on the town session, Sat was an all day bbq and beer session (not that I drank) and Sun was quiet recovery. Then the weekend after, again, the Fri night was a drinks on the town session and this one went kinda outta control again what with agua shots and jagerbombs yet again… we need to sooooo stop visiting that bar… the bartender is our new friend and he fully encourages us. I vaguely remember everyone coming back to our place and playing Pink Floyd and Toto and singing at the top of our lungs at 4 in the morning… poor neighbours. That Sat was another wedding dress expedition… I am soooooo over it. Then we hung out in a music store for about 2 hours while the Guitarman purchased a brand new electric guitar and I mused the sad fact that that guitar of mine has just been sitting in it’s stand untouched for almost a year… I really must learn a song or two… let that by my resolution in this new year of my life. Then we went to the bar beside the river of yours truly fame for a couple of beers with a couple of friends. And then we welcomed back Sam newly returned from a trip home and I finished a whole packet of murukus by myself… it was unreal heaven, and the best part was I got to take a packet home with me (not that it lasted long)!!

Finally, last weekend was a trip to some friends’ parents’ house out in country NSW called Grifith. It’s about 5 hours drive and we rented a people mover to take all 7 of us… the car was great… it was roomy and comfy and had 8 cup holders which were incredibly convenient because even the esky so sweetly fit between the front 2 sweets so it was almost tooooo easy to fix drinks the whole way up. And that’s just what we did… it was awesome… we also had great music so we sang a lot and after the stars came out it was just totally surreal to look at the sky, sip my drink and sing along to the songs of my youth and occasionally laugh at something someone else says or something I say myself. I also remember stumbling in to meet the parents and eating the most amazing biriyani we’ve eaten in a while since it was all so wonderfully home cooked. Oh, and who can forget the cutlets… my all-time favourite item.

The Saturday we woke up after very few hours of sleep and after a healthy brunch of idli, dosa, departed on a winery tour since the Region is big on wine and wine making. Tasted about 3 wines and the buzz from the previous night just came rushing back. Met a few cute dogs, took pictures beside a body of water called Lake Wyungan, and then paid a visit to a farm. It was a total Ol’ McDonalds farm with sheep and horses and chickens and dogs and a special little treat… we see kangaroos hanging out in the wild. It was a great experience… we got a crash course in sheep shearing and crop planting and land leveling and we saw first hand the impacts of the drought and water restrictions… so terrible… it really breaks my heart.

The rest of Saturday was a blur with plenty and plenty of alcohol and more cutlets and some mouth watering pork curry, potato and paneer mutter. It was unreal… for real. One by one people dropped like flies until there were only 3 of us left (me, as usual… I can party till the cows come home, man)…

The Sun was truly terrible… the channa bhutoora and chicken chettinad helped ever so slightly. And then it was time to depart back to Melbourne… it was actually a fun drive back considering we were all so f***ed up… we smoked a couple, laughed about the events of the weekend, watched the fingers of God reach out through the sky, I tripped out watching the trees this time, sang even more songs, witnessed a truly insane wind and dust storm, stopped at a 24/7 diner for coffee and a snack only to have the power go out and them telling us to get out… it was spooky… very Texas Chainsaw Massacre like… the wilderness, the storm, the power cut and everything… But we reached Melbourne safely after all. What an awesome trip!!!

It didn’t end there… Mon night, we caught up to eat the leftover food the parents sweetly sent back with us… was even better because we were actually able to remember what we were tasting this time. Also, considering the excesses of the weekend, it was mind boggling that we all had a few drinks that night. I decided to put it in my birthday week quota ;-)

And now we are here in the middle of my birthday week… it’s only getting better… I have the Steely Dan concert tomorrow, not sure what I’ll get up to on the Friday but I have my presents to look forward to at midnight, and then the birthday on Sat with all the exciting overseas phonecalls and finally, the mandatory partaaaaay on Sat night!!! It’s going to be great. I really miss my sister though and wish we could celebrate our birthdays together… it’s hard letting go… it really breaks my heart. Happy birthday baby sister…

Down the way where the nights are gay and the sun shines daily on the mountain top...

Fiji was freaking awesome. We did absolutely nothing and still every night I’d pass out like a ton of bricks and have a huge issue waking up the next morning which caused my lover no end of grief because breakfast was included in our resort package but well, I just couldn’t motivate myself even at the thought of having paid for it already but somehow forced myself to go at least three of the five mornings after constant wake up calls. Anyway, that was breakfast. We developed a nice routine for the rest of the days and nights too. After breakfast, we’d go back to our room and gather our belongings for the day which would be a book, a sarong, the room key, and the all important towel pass. The towel passes were awesome because whenever you felt like you could get fresh beach towels for the pool and beach so never had to deal with any of those tedious non-5-star-resort issues like sandy towels in the toilet at the end of the day and having to dry them for the next day, having to carry the same towel around with you the whole day, etc. etc. So some days we’d start by jumping in one of the pools or sometimes we’d head straight for the beach. There were three pools – the Coral Pool, Takali Pool and Main Pool. The main pool we stayed well clear of because it was always packed to the brim with easily excitable, screaming, swimming children. The Coral Pool was right below our room and had an awesome view of the coral lagoon just beyond and was quite far away from the main pool so was never very crowded and quite pleasant. Our favourite though was the Takali Pool because it had great sunset views and it was strictly adults only so was most peaceful. We ended most of our evenings here, sipping on drinks and watching the sun set. So in between breakfast and sunset, we’d alternate with swimming in pools, the beach, lying on deck chairs, reading in the hammock, nibbling on lunch, drinking (having our drinks brought wherever we wanted because of the great bar and food service), snorkelling, jet skiing, kayaking (uh yeah, this tired us out fairly quickly every time so we’d kayak for all of 10 minutes) and then our main activity for the day – sailing the catamaran. This became a great cause for excitement as we played sailors with tacking and tightening and what not. We became rather good (well, it certainly ain’t rocket science) but each day made our man more confident and took me closer and closer to that dreaded wave break, you know, where the real ocean starts after the lagoon… the sight of that always terrifies me. Maybe because it reminds me of the outer Great Barrier Reef when we were all playing around in 12 metres or so and a few metres away, the break ominously fell to something like 200 metres apparently. But anyway, we went closer and closer each time until this one time we had the perfect wind in our sails and it was really choppy suddenly in that area and we were coasting faster and faster and suddenly I notice that his side of the catamaran is completely out of the water and in the freaking air and my side is ready to be submerged any second and oh my god, I lost it. I haven’t been so terrified since I’m not sure when… probably since the snake. Anyway, somehow we slowed down and the catamaran returned to its upright position and I insisted we turn around and head back to sweet safe land which we did. Was great fun though, the catamaran… What else did we do… well, the swimming in the lagoon was an experience in itself… the water is incredibly clear and the fish swim all around you in incredibly shallow water, its crazy! The first afternoon we decided to be very adventurous and walk in the water from our side of the resort to the main lagoon beach… this involves crossing many rocks and such and sometimes there’s no beach to walk on so you have to walk in the water and that’s of course when I met the eel. I was extremely terrified to go any further because I really wouldn’t have been keen to meet its friend, the sea snake but somehow made it out of there. I took the inland route on all future occasions and I only had to contend with creepy garden lizards… oh god, and there were regular wall lizards as well... ugggg… creepy bastards! One day we were different and went on a tour to a completely different island… caught a boat down a river which took us to the Robinson Crusoe island, went on a jet boat ride, snorkelled, made some random tour friends, watched some traditional Fiji customs (in photos later) and drank the most potent rum I have ever drunk in my life. It’s called Bounty Rum and it beats even Jamaican Coruba Rum… I had to refill it with more soft drink and it was still incredibly foul and it got me incredibly buzzed. Now, everyone knows I am the last thing from a one-drink-buzz girl so you have to believe me when I tell you how strong it was. So our days were happily spent…

In the evenings, after our poolside drinks and sunset we’d head back to shower and we’d drink our duty free alcohol and listen to music and get quite buzzed, make a ready mix for the 5 minute walk to the restaurants and head for dinner. There were 3 main restaurants open for dinner and of course we tried them all. One of them was the Black Marlin Bar which also served as the resort’s nightclub. God, it was painfully hilarious. The DJ would play everything from Madonna to Harry Belafonte, from the 80s to the 00s, and people would dance. We did our usual jive thing for a couple of songs and beat a hasty retreat. We’d then wander the beach drinking from our ready mix until we were ready to hit the sack. The other two restaurants were Kalevu and Takali and we liked Takali so much we went back there for dinner on our last night. After dinner, we headed to the Black Marlin Bar in expectation of an 80s night, as promised by a poster, but there were all of 5 people and no one seemed particularly into the 80s, so the DJ didn’t even play the 80s and played some horrendous music some guests provided him. But anyway, it was our last night so we made friends with some of the staff and got suitably smashed before retiring. The next day we left the bright blue and green tropics to return to cold, dreary Melbourne. The nicest souvenir from the trip is my awesome golden brown tan that will keep me in the island spirit throughout the paling, non-sunny winter. That, in a nutshell, was our trip and here are some photos…

The ocean view from our room... you can see the "break"... it was low tide so all that brown stuff is coral

The Coral Pool below our room

The beautiful lagoon and main beach... we met the eel somewhere down here when we were walking in the water

Oh god, the EEL in all its creepiness... that's water if you can believe it... it's so freaking clear

Bright blue starfish such as this one were scattered everywhere in the water... again, that's in water

Robinson Crusoe Island where we went daytripping

Traditional Fiji style of cooking on coals in pits... called 'lovo'

Firewalking

Firedancing

Every day they have crab races like this... number the shells of some poor crabs and assign numbers to guests and the first crab to cross the circle wins!

You can't really see, but look closely and you might see the faint glowing blue... at night, the coral was lit and we'd get ocean side dinner tables on the terrace and it was really most lovely

Sunset as viewed from the Takali Pool... it was a slightly cloudy evening though

But I'm sad to say,
I'm on my way,
won't be back for many a day

Your love is better than ice cream, better than anything I’ve ever tried. And your love is better than ice cream…

I wanted to write this really long post about the love of my life who very recently (read, 2 days after my last post) asked me to marry him (we can now refer to each other with the “f”iance word) and I said Yes of course and it was completely insane for the next few days with calling and talking to people and then we had houseguests and then we had his birthday party on the weekend and did so many other things on the weekend and today is his birthday and today is also the day work decided to put me in a panic by having to get something done by 2:00 pm and tonight is another little do for his birthday and tomorrow night we leave for Fiji and that made me realise this morning I must absolutely do laundry TODAY if I am to have any underwear for the trip and so many little things to finish before we leave tomorrow night and so on and so forth… but the point is, I love you babe and let’s have a blast together this evening since the day turned out to be such a washout thanks to both our jobs. And the post on how we got engaged and pictures of the stunning ring on my finger will be published next week once I get back from Fiji. Until then, Happy Easter and Happy Birthday love!

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind, Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time

I just ate about 10 strawberries and was musing on the fact that as a child I was obsessed with strawberry ice cream. And then I remember the day the local ice cream parlour started selling fresh strawberry ice cream i.e. there were little bits of fresh strawberry (but now I wonder, were they really fresh? They must’ve been like dehydrated and frozen and then added to the ice cream like they do with fruit in cereals these days, but anyway) in the strawberry ice cream and my parents got more excited for me than me but it never tasted the same to me again. So now I eat vanilla… it might sound boring but I think vanilla is the most exciting flavour there is… it’s so creamy and milky and tasty… mmm… I also like chocolate and I looooove cookies and cream. I never ever eat strawberry ice cream anymore. But I have become so obsessed with ice cream in the last couple of months… that’s all I want for dessert, ever. Even chocolate doesn’t have the ability to melt my tastebuds anymore… I heart ice cream. I’m not a huge fan of bars and I hate those fruity ice concoctions… what I love is smooth creamy vanilla ice cream (and 97% fat free I might add, the one that I buy from the supermarket) I can scoop into a bowl and add chocolate sauce and rainbow sprinkles too… that’s what I’d do when I’d have the munchies at home and nothing to wake up for the next morning… I would snack and snack and sometimes it’d be savoury potato chips and ketchup or muruku, but a lot of the times it was sweet sweet vanilla ice cream, Hershey’s chocolate sauce and rainbow sprinkles… oh god, it was to die for. Australia, being somewhat anti-America does not sell Hershey’s… can you imagine (don’t really know if it’s related to anti-Americanism in any way but the point is they don’t)? At least they sell Heinz ketchup… I dislike Australia’s version of tomato sauce most definitely… so their version of chocolate sauce is also most disgusting so I just make do with the plain vanilla ice cream and occasionally add rainbow sprinkles… but believe you me, it is never plain vanilla ice cream to me. Sigh… I want to be home raiding my freezer right about now…

So a quick rundown on the crazy trip to Lorne two weekends ago… it was a great trip… I laughed non-stop and pretty much drank non-stop except for the 6 hours of sleep every night.

Word of the trip – Homo… (not in a prejudiced against gay people manner but simply an innocent Eric Cartman manner… oh darling Cartman, one day I will devote an entire post to the hilarity of you)

Drink of the trip – Mojito… (we’d make like 1 or 2 pitchers of cocktails and then get very tired of muddling the ingredients (I own a very awesome cocktail muddle now) so I’d switch back to Bacardi & Coke)

Joke of the trip – JosA and JosB

View of the trip - The view of the Indian/Southern Ocean in all her glory from the convenience of our terrace


Semi-scariest moment of the trip – Oh my god, what is that orange steadily rising up from the horizon??!! It’s an explosion, run for cover… haha (turned out to be a very orange moon… the amazing thing was we found a pair of binoculars in the house and you could actually see the craters on the top half of the moon… intense… imagine a telescope)


Outdoor moment of the trip – Boogie boarding at the beach

Chick flick moment of the trip – curling each other’s eyelashes (I had no clue about the aesthetic effects of eyelash curling – I need to buy myself an eyelash curler pronto), straightening each other’s hair and eye shadowing each other’s eyes… some of the boys were unwilling participants also


Bird of the trip - Kookaburra sitting on the old gum tree... bird with a very discerning palette... ignored all the bread and wasted no time attacking all the ham we gave him


Pictionary moment of the trip – writing down “air” and whispering “peacock”

Randomest moment of the trip – Having randoms buy us drinks at the “club” on Sat night (I use the word “club” very loosely… it was really just one hell of a dodgy as dive), having our Lorne neighbours recognise us and introduce themselves to us (naturally this “club”, the Lorne Hotel, was the only place any self respecting person in Lorne would go to, so everyone and his uncle who wanted to partaaay that Sat night in Lorne, was there… kinda like Madras in some respects, in the G2, EC-41 days), collectively picking up random Kiwi dude and taking him home with us to dice him up and bury him in the backyard (I jest of course… but we did take him home)

Charade of the trip –

Where are you all from?
Uruguay. Where are you from?
New Zealand
Rubbish, you sound Dutch and/or German and/or Norwegian. Tell us really, where are you from?
New Zealand
Fine, be that way. We are of course super hot chicas from Uruguay in South America. Say, let’s talk soccer, patriotic fans that we are…
So how come Uruguayans are not held in the highest regard by the rest of South America?
What? Nonsense… we are wonderful people. It’s the rest of South America that sucks ass
So you all live in Melbourne?
Yeah, you?
Yeah me too (very disappointedly)
Is there something wrong? Would you prefer it if we were all from Lorne?
Yes… haha… I want you to all have been born in Lorne (hahaha, it made me laugh so much at the time)
--half an hour later—
Ok, so we lied. We’re from India.
What? All of you?
Yeah, all of us (sheepish laughter)
Why would you lie?
Why would you lie about being from New Zealand? Come on now, tell us the truth, where are you really from?
New Zealand (in a “why the hell won’t you believe me” tone)

Still don’t believe him, but we’ll see what happens if we ever run into him again. Why Uruguay? Didn’t know, didn’t ask… I was drunk enough to simply go with the flow.

Exercise of the trip – 1km trek down to the lower Erskine Falls and back… God protected me from having to confront any snakes. Thank you God… let’s keep that trend going for all future bushwalking adventures


Picturesque moment of the trip – automatic timer group pictures… 3 in a row and all so it looks like moving pictures… technology, the wonders…

Fiiiiine dining moment of the trip – seafood restaurant on the pier for dinner after 5 straight meals of bread and meat (and eggs for breakfast) on the BBQ… not that I’m complaining mind… it was just a pleasant change.

Laugh out loud moment of the trip – folder or scruncher survey… ahhh, such burning as(s) issues (pun intended)!


Venue of the trip - 38 Great Ocean Road, Lorne... bye bye house


Hungoverest moment of the trip – Saturday morning, Sunday morning, Monday morning and even Tuesday morning ( I dragged myself to work at 11 am on Tuesday after being alcohol free for almost 36 hours)

I feel there are many moments I have missed out, like singing on the balcony and trying to dance backward up steps… and as always, the scintillatingly funny conversations… although scintillating is quite possible misleading… a lot of the most hilarious conversations always seem to begin and end in the gutter. Good times, good times… can’t wait for the next weekend (summer) holiday whenever it may be!

It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life.

We’re all going on a summer holiday, no more working for a week or two, fun and laughter on a summer holiday, no more worries for me and you

So what if summer has officially ended and a week or two is more like three nights… anytime spent in a rented beach house on the spectacular Great Ocean Road that one has visited way too many times in one’s lifetime although very surprisingly one hasn’t had to make the trip down there in over two years… woohoo… so now absence has made the heart grow fonder… counts as a “summer” holiday. So hello to three days of drinking, partying, eating and chilling… only the drugs are missing… what is this clean me? Well, not strictly, but still… cleaner me!

Do you remember those Cliff Richard movies? This one in particular, Summer Holiday, and the song, I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I mean, I knew it was an incredible lame, feel-good movie but I still watched it a number of times. The other song of his I remember so well which I think is also from either this movie or another soppy feel-good one is big news, big news, have you heard the headline story, I’m so happy, she’s in love with me. Haha!

Since my last post, I have managed to dodge the boredom slightly by attending Turkish birthday dinners with lethal belly dancers, watching a beer can being shoved up a chicken’s ass and then eating the same chicken once the beer had done its job of spreading flavour and warmth throughout the poor chicken, finishing a bottle of wine by myself at various BBQs as my drink of choice to avoid coke, drinking Mojitos at a delightful new rooftop bar discovery, making my Mom’s signature lemon cheesecake after many years, going to the gym on a regular basis believe it or not to proactively rid myself of the beer gut once and for all and tone those arms and legs, being the subject of a customer "incident" report after a sliver of glass somehow wedged itself into my foot at the supermarket, alas, thoughts of million dollar mental and physical trauma settlements have faded away since the cut healed itself in all of 2 hours, watching the final two episodes ever of the OC on television and almost pissing myself at the Bullit’s sons being named San Antonio, El Paso and Hanoi among various other amusing final moments, getting our row boat caught in a litter trap in the Yarra river and then promptly deciding to swim in it myself, just for a bit of Sunday morning fun… who needs to sleep in on a Sunday morning when really, you could be swimming with the fish and slime and litter and all the various other unidentified objects floating about in that beautiful Yarra. So yes dear friends… our boat got caught and we lost balance briefly and the next thing I know, I’m in the cold, disgusting water. We pulled a huge crowd and some passer-by actually blogged about it, although he obviously arrived on the scene only after the wonderful spectacle of me falling in. Can you believe I had to get back into the boat after falling in? I’m floating about, dog paddling, trying so hard not to touch the mossy slime a couple of metres below me and waiting for someone to give me a hand to pull me out of the water and onto sweet safe land and I’m just being fully ignored… people just continue discussing how to get us out of there and then tell me to haul my ass back into the boat… it was a supreme effort I tell you… I was shell shocked for the rest of the ride. Happy to report though that I have since been back twice and no untoward incidents have occurred. It’s always the question in my mind though… so, will I make it back to the boat shed today dry or soaking wet? Details AND PIX of our incident at the link below…

http://highriser.blogspot.com/2007/02/caught-in-trap.html

So anyway, now I’m off to Lorne so Happy Labour Day to everyone in Victoria… haha, who gives a crap… we have a holiday and that’s all that matters!

Update: How could I forget... I suddenly looked at the date and realised I was blogging on my best friend's birthday and not shouting out a special mention. Dear Sista T finally joins us 25 year olds today as her baby T turned the oh so big and important 1 yesterday! You're always on my mind (at the risk of sounding very Elvis soppy and senti) :-) Have a great one! Love ya.

I don't quite know, how to say, how I feel

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

Those three words
I've said too much
But not enough

Oh my god, this is one of them songs… I haven’t had one of these songs for a while… you know, one of them songs you listen to over and over one night… I don’t know man, I have these songs once ever so often and then for a long time, I completely lose interest pretty much in music all together and suddenly that song comes along that brings it all back… So tonight is one of them nights, and this is one of them songs. It’s called Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol and I’ve heard it on tv/radio/in the stores for the last I don’t know how many months but never had it but tonight I’m just like, I have to have it and so I downloaded it and right now its on iTunes repeat and I guess it will be on repeat until I finish this post… and I imagine that’s gonna take a while. Unfortunately this is the same song that was the finale for Grey’s freaking Anatomy this year in Oz (oh, sorry, 2006, last year it seems) but I hate the freaking show so it hurts that I like the song so much but it’s ok, I’ll adjust for tonight…

Oh right, so first off, Happy Birthday dear friend Rael… we missed you over Christmas and New Years and I guess it’s going to be a while before you’re back again after your jettsetting global adventures… So anyway, I’m just back after many drinks at his birthday party and I thought now is a good time as any to update blog… haha, it’s taking twice as long to spell right, but anyhow…

Where the hell do I begin??? I guess I could begin with the first couple of nights that they got into town (they being Rita and Phil aka auntie and uncle but never wanting to be introduced as such)… oh man, it was the most awesome time ever… they’re the coolest people I know… on par with my baby sister and my baby cousins… and none of them are babies no more… oh god, I miss my family!!! It just went by so quick…

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

So anyhow, there was Christmas prep with the tree and presents and shit and then there was Christmas Eve where I forced everyone to stay up pretty much and so we tried to go to Crown Casino and stuff and the whole world tried to convince me not to go to Midnight Mass, but I went anyway, by myself, I might add… It was good though, I sang carols soulfully and missed my parents and sister like no tomorrow and then the next day my mom refuses to even believe I went to Church… geez, I’m a devil, but not that much of a devil that I’d lie about going to Christmas Mass… But anyway, I got home and we all wished each other and then exchanged the few hundred presents we had for each other and it was so good. I got so many cool clothes… I’ve pretty much worn all of them this whole little holiday of mine… Christmas is awesome!!!

Christmas Day was insane in its own little way… I’d had about 4 hours of sleep and then we went to this lunch where everyone was gathering at and oh my god, I drank like 3 drinks of Old Monk which was on offer and then it finished so I went back to Bacardi but basically we were all there from 1 pm until about 7 pm and who even knows what happened in between… This sweetheart was one of the highlights of my Christmas… no other dogs in my life at this point… there’s Rusty of course, but he’s so freaking far away!!!! Don’t worry though Holly, I still think of you evey fucking day… why? Why? Why were you taken away from me?

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

Then I had about one good night’s sleep after 5 days and Boxing Day I conscioulsy said I would not even take a sip of alcohol and I didn’t and that night we flew to Cairns and got to Port Douglas really late but it was sooooo good to be back in tropical climates… guess what, so called summer in Melbourne, it freaking hailed on Christmas Day… too depressing! The only thing I don’t miss about tropical climates is freaking lizards… gross as “pallis”… gross man, they creep the shit out of me… But anyway, we chilled on the beach, we ate some awesome meals and then we went on a tour to one of the outer reef areas… I tried scuba diving and unfortunately for me it didn’t go so well :-( The water just went fully into my nose everytime I tried so I didn’t do it eventually and went snorkelling instead and went on some strange ocean walk where they put this space type helmet on my head and I walked about 6 metres down the ocean floor and it was just quite mad… it was stupid man, I was just like, what the fuck is this shit… but I got to touch some fish… haha, don’t know if I ever wanted to touch fish… anyhow, the Great Barrier Reef is awesome… and the warm water is unbelievable… the last day we went on some Rainforest tour and went on a cable car ride a couple of thousand metres high and it was pretty fucking scary! And then we took some scenic railway and I think I saw some Aboriginals in Australia after 4.5 years finally! The trip was soooo good… I’m sooo going back and I’m so getting certified to go diving so I’ll have more time to get used to the breathing underwater crap!



Then we got back to Melbourne and had a whole other kind of trip… haha, I so don’t want to talk about it… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… there are some trips better left unsaid!!! All I am willing to say is how much sense Penny Lane by the Beatles makes now!!! And I am sooo Penny Lane!!!



If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Then there was New Years Eve… I suppose it could be considered rather tame compared to various other years… but it was great… all our near and dear ones in this city were around us! I had a great time… one of the best moments was talking to baby sister dear when we were almost going to bed at 5:30 am and it was just her midnight then. Man, I don’t know how she’s going to grow up without me around… I don’t know if I’m a positive influence, but I’m certainly her older fucking sister and that has to count for something… well, I’m not around either way, so I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best!

And then there was New Years Day where I walked around in a daze and we went to Mexican Margarita dinner and then we went to a drive in movie and I freaking slept and I don’t think I’ve ever slept at a movie before, drive in or otherwise, so believe me when I say I was fucking done to have done that! And then there was their last day where we went to the wildlife sanctuary and I finally got to see a freaking kangaroo after 4.5 years… I don’t quite know how to say how much it meant to be able to finally see one… and they are so freaking adorable!! And then we got fucking wasted that night and then they left :-(…

All that I am
All that I ever was
It’s here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I so don’t enjoy being at work right now :-( Life sucks when you nothing and no one to look forward to!!

Man, it’s 2007… we can’t even pretend to be little kids anymore even though that’s all I’ll ever be at heart… what’s up with this shit that we have to pretend to be responsible adults… and I don’t even mind being a responsible adult… but, it just sucks when your age and the year kinda dictates that you have to be one… 18 til I die baby…

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

This song makes me so sad though… I don’t quite know why… it just reminds me of a time when it wasn’t like this… of course, at the time, I wasn’t satisfied at all… all I wanted was to get away… I guess, just forget the world… but it was that same time that so many amazing things happened… I remember some days, I’m not sure what we did but I know we laughed a lot and the hours just went by so quick and we thought it was never ever going to get any better and maybe it hasn’t… and I remember some nights, the first few times we went out, we went to dinner each time and then we’d buy a quart of Old Monk rum each and get fucking wasted on that one little quart… and then we’d pick up some friends who’d we give some more quarts to, haha, and then we’d go to EC-41 and we’d both get in for free because we were cool that way… that’s a whole other story, how I got a lifetime free membership to EC-41… it’s a brilliant story, but not tonight… so then we’d be in EC-41 and most nights most everyone else was there… but there were some nights that it was pouring down rain and hardly anyone’d be there… but we were there… and we’d dance and we’d sing and we’d drink and we’d smoke and we’d laugh our asses off… so it isn’t as easy as that anymore… nobody does the same shit anymore… there isn’t the one place to go to anymore, the one place that is guaranteed to get you into a good time…

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me your garden that's bursting into life

I don’t know what’s going to become of us… I mean, at one point in your life you’re so used to having a certain group of people around all the time and then one day that just doesn’t happen no more and maybe you get a different group of people and that’s also just wonderful but what about that first group of people? How do you get them back into the groove? Because you miss them and love them like you did when you were 18-20??!! But perhaps they don’t remember it like you do, and it’s as stupid as chasing cars to them to even imagine that it could ever happen again! I’ve been having these dreams these last couple of weeks, all filled with old times and old people… such good times… and this is at a time in my life where I’m completely enjoying my current life (apart from work of course)! I don’t know, I wake up highly disturbed because I feel like something’s gone terrribly wrong in my hometown and there’s nothing I can do to make it ok. I swear, it feel so real I honestly wonder what happened that I should dream of all of them so vividly… these kinda dreams haven’t happened since the first time I left India all those years ago.

I guess right now I’m sorta just hoping for good things whenever it is I get to go back again… I mean it’s always good, everytime I go back, but sometimes it just fucking kills you… I mean, it can only kill you when you’ve been away… but it fucking kills you anyway… but I love them all… and I miss them all… and that’s my utopian dream… that they could all be here with me…

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don’t quite know how to say how I feel… I’m still listening to the stupid song and it’s daylight now so that’s freaking great… I guess I will try to just not sleep until later tonight I think cos I gotta go to work early tomorrow morning anyway… But so, I was just flipping through the few hundred photos from the last 10 days and it just has to make you smile doesn’t it… the way people look in them… so happy… maybe they were drunk at the time, and sometimes they weren’t, believe it or not… but we all look so freaking happy… and a lot of the New Years Eve ones, we’re just kinda sticking our hands up in the air with the Christmas tree in the background and lots of crazy light effects happening because the fancy ass camera wasn’t on auto focus and it’s just funny… it’s just a perfect reflection of how people feel/felt/will feel… I hope it’s a good year… for everyone I know and love… something tells me it has the potential to be… the year a lot of things change for a lot of people in a good way… we’re getting old man, and there’s no denying that! I’m no longer early 20’s, I’m mid-20’s, my boyfriend will be “late” 20’s after his birthday this year, poor guy… but it’s ok… I think we’re entering a completely new exciting phase of all our lives… Happy 2007!!!

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Can you hear me when I sing… you’re the reason I sing… you’re the reason why the opera is in me…

So November has also passed. I honestly can’t account for how quickly the days are flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was shopping for my trip to India but that was a whole year ago. And this year, there will be no India. There will most likely be no India next year either so that kinda sucks.

The other day was the first day of December. It was also the first official day of summer and at least the last evening in November provided a warm welcome to this season unlike the so-called spring which was really just a horrid extension of winter this year. So that evening at a balmy 30 degrees, we sipped Coronas on the balcony and then took in Borat at the cinema. I don’t know how to comment on this movie… it certainly had its laugh out loud moments but mostly it was just crude and well, if you’ve watched a lot of the Ali G shows with Borat clips, you know exactly what’s coming like when he goes to a formal dinner party and what kind of polaroids he’s going to show of his life back home.

But getting back to November, time really flew because I had way too many things on with the concerts, changing jobs, slacking off at home in between concerts and jobs, etc., etc. So to the concerts, I was left with Pearl Jam and U2. Pearl Jam was awesome in a very oh-my-god-he’s-so-insane kind of way. He started off all normal concert-like but by the end he was not even pretending to be sober anymore and just fully skulling straight from a wine bottle and jumping all over the place and at one point he fell really badly but just jumped right up again. Oh, it was truly entertaining. People say the Red Hot Chilli Peppers are mad to watch on stage but I watched them live in 2002 and they don’t even come close to Eddie. I have Jeremy recorded on my phone from that evening!

Then 1.5 days later, it was time for U2. Numerous die-hard fans began queuing at the venue in the wee hours of Saturday morning. We knew we had no chance of competing with that so we got pretty drunk and stoned instead at my house and only got there about 6:30 pm. We found ourselves a whatever spot (I say, whatever because it was no great shakes and I couldn’t directly see the stage, only the screens, but seriously, as much I enjoy U2 and all, I have no desire to be crushed in by some mad people...) and made some trips to bar/bathroom before Mr. Kanye West got on stage. Of course, everyone sang along loudly to Gold digger and then fully lost interest… haha. In between Kanye and U2, there was some 45 minutes of set up and I went to the bathroom in all this and was in such a tension that I’d miss their opening song which I knew would be City of Blinding Lights but anyway, all was good and I got back well in time. And then they were on…

Fuck, it was awesome! I don’t know what else to say. I just didn’t want it to end… I knew every single song except for one song but the videos for that song were so tripped out, it didn’t even matter. It was such a perfect night – there was U2 singing the bestest songs, all the ones I wanted, and it was a warm night so the dome of the venue was open so I alternated between looking up at the screens and up at the stars… Bono was a dream, The Edge was brilliant, Adam Clayton was the furthest away from me and rather in the background, and there was Larry Mullen Jr. beating away at the drums with a really sweet smile on his face the whole time and with his military cut blond hair looking like a poster child for the Germany Army. He is my current favourite of the band – he has two Labs who he has dedicated albums to… so sweet. So anyway, I had goose bumps most of the way and shed a tear or two here and there and just remembering it now is making me feel all funny… was just so good. Obviously I was very happy with City of Blinding Lights, Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own and One, and then he played With or Without You and I swear there were shivers running down my spine the whole time. The final song was Kite and it was sooooo good… and I knew it was the last song so that made it extra poignant and he kept singing, I know that this is not goodbye… I sure hope it ain’t… come back U2, come back! So, that was that… I have City of Blinding Lights and One recorded on my phone from that evening.

So the next big milestone was that I started my new job and then that weekend we went camping to Wilsons Prom which is the southern most tip of mainland Australia. Never been there before and never been camping before and both were great experiences although our roughing it could hardly have been considered roughing it. Still, we did the whole tent bit and it wasn’t our fault toilets with hot showers are conveniently located 200 metres from all campsites and that Big City Dude brought his beloved bbq along and kept us happily supplied with hot dogs and rissoles for all our meals.

So we also attempted these hikes to some beaches and up some mountains and all. One of these beaches is called Squeaky Beach because the sand allegedly squeaks when you walk on it, and it actually does. It’s awesome! The second day we hiked up some Mount Bishop and a dreadful little black snake crossed the path in front of me… now, it’s hard to fully express how absolutely I detest and abhor all things reptilian but snakes, in particular. And so, it was my greatest fear something like that would happen and of course it had to. So next time, I will say come on out, snake and meet me if you have the guts to and then maybe I won’t have to face it. But on Saturday night, when I was walking back from the toilet with a trusty torchlight in hand, a wombat crossed the path in front of me and that was pretty cool. We spent Sat night singing loudly around the lantern (unfortunately it’s bush fire season and campfires are a strict no no so we had to make do) and then went to bed relatively early cos of exhaustion from previous night drinking and early morning start and wilderness trekking. But the stars that came out that night were a sight to witness… Starry starry night only!

In other news went for a Jamaican themed birthday party last weekend and I have to say I was very hopelessly dressed and looked most un-Jamaican but birthday girl had done much decorating and had some horrid looking dreadlocks for extra measure. But the bestest and funniest part was the batches of special brownies that had been prepared and oh my god, it was hilarious. The thing is we’re used to it and we still got so fucked and laughed so much and there were all these other people who never smoke and went a bit mad (in a hilarious manner) and then apparently there were also people who ate nicely and had no idea they were special. Far out man, haven’t laughed so much like every 2 seconds in so long. So, today is her birthday and since she reads this blog apparently, Happy Birthday Ms. Jamaica and welcome to blogworld… hehe!

This week I decided to take another health and fitness stand and went to my apartment gym for the first time in 3 months and worked out a bit. And then last evening I went rowing, my second time in Oz, and arms and back are feeling slightly fucked and the constant friction from the oar has torn a sizable chunk of skin off my thumb… ouch! But seriously, I compare the Yarra with the Cooum and they’re not that different… perhaps one just smells a bit less than the other.

And finally, a moment to reflect on Christmas which is fast approaching… this year I will be here of course and will have two members of the family with me apart from my boyfriend and it should be really good and I know it’s going to be a bumper year for presents cos my aunt always buys me awesome clothes. And I get to trim the tree again and I’ve gone out and bought lots more Christmassy stuff and I have my work Christmas party on Friday and various other Christmas things planned and it should be great!

Tomorrow I start at a client site so I don’t know when I’ll be back again but I thought I’d better update it before it died on me fully for the year.

I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams

What is this I think I feel... I wanna feel the sunshine all the time...

I wanna feel the sunshine lift my head
I wanna see your face when I wake up
I wanna be the light that’s in your life
I wanna feel the sunshine all the time

Today I remember Goa… the music brought it back… party shuffle all the way… this time it was the Ministry of Sound Annual 2006… the only CD we had… not even both discs… just disc 1… well, there was another CD… a mish mash of all the songs I hurriedly downloaded when I got to India and realised I had no music at all for the car… so there was also Dakota and Scissor Sisters… driving back drunk late at night in our dodgy Tempo Traveller that seats 12 but should only be allowed to take 6… and there was Kat playing the Pussycat Dolls to perfection… Dontcha think your girlfriend is hot like me… Kat is a guy…

But the thing with Ministry of Sound is you gotta listen to it over and over and sometimes its hard to tell one song from another until you’ve listened to it enough times to pick out your favourite parts and then you actually pick up song titles and track numbers so you can rewind and fast forward at will…

So we listen as we drive 16 hours from Bangalore to Goa… we listen to other stuff other people have too but nothing else registers… tracks 5, 9 and 13… we wind our way through the Western Ghats… sometimes at breakneck speeds… the hazy layer of smoke in the air… the gentle buzz from the ready mix in my head… there is no fear… the music lulls us to sleep and wakefulness again… we stop for chai and chocolate fixes…

There’s nothing quite like the start of a trip… anything can happen… funny things funny people say and do are happening already but you know the best is yet to come…

Here we are in crowded Calangute all of a sudden… along the way we pass Angel Resorts where we stayed 2001-2002… what a time… what a trip…

Goa is the same but everything else is different… maybe it’s everyone else who is different… maybe I’m suddenly too old and tired to drink as much… I definitely know I’m too tired and sick to smoke so much… the sore throat I’ve been avoiding for a few days by diligently gargling with salt water is finally catching up with me… so passes the first night in Goa… desultorily drinking at Tito’s…

The bright sunshine the next morning makes the world look beautiful again… and that first glimpse of the bright blue Arabian Sea makes it all worth it… we claim a shack as our own and spend the next six hours sunbathing and swimming… we keep up a steady stream of orders for drinks and food… and then the long awaited sunset… this is the Goa I know and love… the beach, the shack, and the sun setting…

That night we drink up and head out… we try one place after another but nothing feels right… and whoever heard of such exorbitant cover charges in Goa before… and where have all the raves gone… I’m not the world’s most enthusiastic raver but once every couple of years is alright… but no dice… everything’s busted… are we in Goa or Madras?

Today is the last day of the year… the sun is shining again and we luck out with a shack that has deck chairs that we lie on all day… before I know it, the sun is setting for the last time this year… so many memories flash before my eyes… the years that have been… tomorrow, a new year… a new beginning?

Is it 11:30 pm already? I am happy… I am with the one I love and surrounded by near and dear friends… the music at Nine Bar is loud but not intrusive… I am quietly high on life and Bacardi (with a little bit of Old Monk thrown in to make it interesting)… the organisers ask us to move away from the wall as they set up the fireworks… someone gives me a little taste of their ecstasy pill… my blocked nose clears up for a glorious 10 seconds… people hugging kissing laughing… Happy New Year… so, now what?

By 3 am, I have reached my peak… I have danced and drunk and smoked… I am in a curiously violent mood and ready to punch anyone who invades my space… the curious part is I am most disappointed I don’t actually get to practice my Kung Fu Kick… by now we have walked a lot and moved between a couple of places… word on the street is the Hilltop is where its going to go off as the sun rises… in my alcohol fuelled enthusiasm, I am all set to last until then… alas, by 5 am I’m back in my bed and pass out in seconds…

I wake up in the afternoon of the new year and my head feels like I got punched the night before but the unbearable pain in my throat clues me in on what is really going on… we head to the beach one last time but for me there is no swimming, no drinking, no smoking… all I can do is sit in my chair and gaze out at the wide expanse of sea in front of me… the air is still warm and the sun is still shining but today I am shivering… I remember the last time… I wanna feel the sunshine all the time…

There are many things I’ve forgotten over the years but there are some moments that stand out and that I will never let go of… like that moment on New Years Day 2002… it was nearing sunset… there we all were sitting around on the beach… maybe it was the same beach I am sitting on now 4 years later… coming down from our first (and last... for me, at least) ecstasy hits of the night before… a swim in the warm water… someone finds a little starfish on the sand… stomachs pleasantly full… two Bacardi and watermelons down… at that moment, I felt more content than I’d ever felt before or have felt since… anything was possible… we were young, healthy and the world was our oyster… I knew everything in the new year was going to be terribly different… I didn’t know yet if it would be good different or bad different… but I knew that whenever I just needed to feel good I could go back to that moment and feel that same warm feeling of contentment wash over me again…

So I look around now… most of the faces are different… one or two from the first time… the missing ones are overseas or otherwise occupied… and half of these new ones are fresh faced 20 year olds… the same age I was the last time… they are now coming down from their best ever high and are already planning their next visit to Goa… same time, same place… I smile in amusement at this rite of passage… maybe they will come back and maybe they won’t… and if they do come back maybe they will find what I have found… a place may never change but how it makes you feel can change because of the way you have changed…

I’m so tired… all I want is to sleep… I close my eyes and go back to that moment all over again… it still works… it still makes me feel so good inside… I realise that I am still young in a relative sense but of course that doesn’t stop me from feeling old… hopefully I am still healthy… but is the world still my oyster… is anything still possible… anyone with a gung ho live-life-to-the-fullest attitude will say of course it is… I’m not so sure… I know now that there are some things that are just not going to be possible… there are some dreams that I just have neither the time nor the inclination to follow through with… but that’s the real difference between then and now… then it might’ve seemed a horrible betrayal of myself to give up on anything… now, I accept what is and what can be and am learning to let go of what will never be… and now there are new dreams… and so that’s the same between then and now… I still dream…

There isn’t much else to tell… we leave later that night… I sleep all the way back to Bangalore… it’s a dreamless self-medication-induced stupor… I wake up to stifling heat, crowded roads and polluted air… it’s a brand new day and a brand new year… whatever will be will be…

Maybe the last two weeks of my vacation will be fun fun fun with wedding madness, Mexican themed bachelorette nights, Wild Wild West parties and six year anniversary celebrations… maybe I will return to Melbourne and walk about in a daze of homesickness and job dissatisfaction for weeks… maybe these things will pass… maybe I’ll get a better job… maybe I won’t write a word for 6 months… maybe I’ll chop my hair to half its length after 3 years… maybe before I know it, I’ll reach the halfway mark of the new year… maybe winter will go by quickly with the aid of layers and heaters… maybe there will be planned trips overseas… maybe visitors from overseas will plan to visit me?

What is this I think I feel… why do I love the sunshine… because its not always shining… that’s when we go to the secret places in our hearts where it is shining… and when it is shining, well, that’s as good as it’s ever gonna get…

I like to party... Everybody does...

I can't believe Christmas has come and gone... with everything else that was going on, I had absolutely no time to do Christmassy things like sing carols and since I finished all my bloody shopping in Australia, there was no real urgency except of course to wrap all my presents at the last bloody minute as usual. Anyway, I got to sing carols in church and went home and had cake and wine and then went off party hopping at some 3 in the morning to go wish all my friends who were partying the night away!! There was also annual drinks and dinner bash at my house on Christmas night and much wine was drunk by all and much fun was had by all...



I can't believe Madras... It's like I never left. Last year when I visited, I knew no one whenever I went out except for the people I was with... This year, I'm amazed at all the old faces I'm seeing again... the same old faces who used to be at every party and every disco on every Friday and Saturday night when I lived and partied in Madras. Friday night was a very random getting wasted night where I met like some 100 people I hadn't met in years in the one crowded pub and the next day I was still remembering more and more people I'd met or seen... Madras is quite uncanny!

I can't believe I've been functioning on less than 10 hours of sleep every night in spite of being out until all hours every night. Tonight has been the first night I forced myself to stay home so I could recuperate slightly before leaving to Goa tomorrow. Last night was a very wild bachelorette party for a friend and it was a full on 70s theme and her sister and Rat's sister just did a very brilliant job with the decorations... Just like the brilliant job Rat's sister did for Sista T's baby shower... Good job good job ;) And please don't miss my cool pink 70s sunnies on the bar table...





I can't believe how much fun I'm having... I really don't want it to end...

Hey, who's this handsome motherfucker... I just love him to death!



And here's my dear little Chocolate... so old and tired and slow... I really fear she's going to drop dead any second...



So hope you all had a Merry Christmas and I'll see you all in 2006... I could reflect on the year that's been and what not, but fuck that... Happy New Year!!