Have You Ever Seen The Rain

Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hard
I know
Its been that way for all my time
Till forever on it goes
Through the circle fast and slow
I know
And it can't stop I wonder

I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain
Coming down on a sunny day

Rain… isn’t it meant to bring people down… How come I feel so good when it rains… Is that not normal… Does it have something to do with what my name means… I love the sun and everything about it but a rainy day is always a special day… everything always seems more fun in the rain… when I was very young, it meant the lawn would get flooded and my father and I would make paper boats and sail them in our makeshift lake… the boats never lasted long but I have never forgotten them… and going to school on a rainy day and playing in all the puddles… there was no thought given to the diseases we might’ve caught from doing that… that was the all part of the joy of being a child… and I’d go home and get on my bicycle and do it all over again on the streets of Annanagar…

I didn’t outgrow my love of the rain even after I outgrew puddles… I still enjoyed walking outside my house under my umbrella and I can still remember the concern of my poor dogs as I did that… they hated the thought of getting wet themselves but they were still kinda worried to let me go out into the garden by myself what with all the thunder and the lightening so they’d follow me into the rain and whine worriedly until I went back in… that’s loyalty for you…

And then there were those rainy days when we’d have to hotbox the car because we didn’t want to stand outside and get wet… and wasn’t it just the most awesome fun to go swimming in the rain... And there were those nights where we’d hide out in someone’s apartment car park and drink ourselves silly… or we’d sit in the gazebo and watch the rain falling in the pool… and then there was R’s backyard and all those beach house parties that got washed out but were still fun somehow… and who can forget the EC-41 rain dances… sometimes it was real rain and sometimes it wasn’t, but it was always fun…

And is there anything quite like waking up on a Sunday morning with nothing to do and hearing the rain pattering on the window sill outside and all you want to do is pick up your book from last night and curl up under your quilt again and get lost in someone else’s life… and you could do just that because life was easy and if you didn’t want to get out of bed you didn’t have to…

Ah rain… what a wonderful smell it has.

I guess you don’t always remember the fun you had on days on which the sun shone brightly… because the sun shone brightly almost always… and then there were those rainy days and nights that stand out in your mind because they were just special somehow… and so I sit here at my workstation and watch the rain streaming down the window… and it takes me back to those rainy days eons ago in Madras when life was all about sailing a paper boat on a lake that was really a lawn…

Ah rain... don't go away... little me wants to dream...

The Story of You Me and You (ten years and counting...)

Where do I begin? To tell the story of You Me and You... I suppose I could begin with Love Story and that ever familiar Theme from Love Story but that episode (can we ever forget the cardamom milk) doesn't include you me and you... it was more you me and my childhood best friend. So instead, lets fast forward a couple of years to grade 5 when you me and you got into major trouble with Mrs Mary Carmel for looking after some other class in the sports field because we thought we couldn't get into trouble because we were all powerful captains. How wrong she proved we were... And that was our very first crime!

So then we moved to high school and it still wasn't you me and you... it was more you and me and me and you and dear diary entries on who was whose best friend and physics class text book changes from a magnet's N and S poles to N and J poles. And then suddenly all the old familiar cliques went through a major reshuffle and we were left with you me and you and Ayesha. And even though we hung out with her for four years and tried to be as close to her as we were to each other, it just didn't work out in the end because she was never like you me and you.

So what were you me and you like? We were three teenagers who spent every breaktime talking and laughing about everything under the sun... we spent birthdays and special occasions with a larger group and still managed to have our private moments of laughter at something silly someone else said and that no one else would have ever found funny... like the day when we started our morning at 6 am in pouring rain on our way to some singing comp and on the way there, my driver (was it Murugan) suddenly stopped the car and began running backwards after a wiper that had fallen off... run Forrest run... and who can forget Vegetable Toppings... we also spent hours on the phone obsessing about boys and Sweet Valley and sent out annonymous cards to our crushes on Valentine's Day and on the eve of Michaelmas holidays (wasn't there something about Michael and a cycle?)... and we also just hung out and went for plays and rock concerts and ate at Wimpy's and cruised Alsa Mall (yeah, we were that cool ;)) and recorded tapes like March Madness and Come September...

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
Oh simple thing, where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

It was simple and those were some of the happiest days of our lives. And we did know our school like the back of our hands... the Kuns tree and the stadium and the jungle gym and the auditorium and our classrooms and our spots under the trees... And then you went to another school and you stayed behind and me, well I found myself in another school too. And we were still you me and you only now we didn't see each other every day and we had the added complication of boyfriends in our lives... so there was lots of lying and covering up with our parents and there were good times and tears and there was heartache and heartbreak and at the end of it all we were left with you me and you. I still remember the night in Dec 1998 before New Years Eve... we stayed up all night and dressed up and experimented with Kahlua and took drunk photographs and went to the beach in the morning and had a swim in the pool and that was the day we came up with you me and you... December 31st 1998... I don't recall how or why.


And so we reached 1999... that year is an epic by itself... we finished school... we had our first jobs... we went on dates with boys... sometimes we went on many dates with many boys on the same day... we got shockingly drunk and sang Christmas Carols on rides home and had to be carried up stairs much to the shock of my grandmom's elderly watchman... we woke up early every morning and spent hours trying to get fit and experienced the simple pleasure of rowing on a river... we watched movies and ate at the Food Court... we went for parties and met hundreds of new people... we played pool and made another best friend who is still the only one who can come close to understanding you me and you... we wrote letters and received letters and said tearful goodbyes as you and lots of others left Madras for greener pastures... and we spent nights drinking Citroen vodka and Kahlua and Cointreau and sneaking out and sharing things we'd never shared before... Ah, the summer of 1999... will there ever be another time quite like it?

A long time ago, we used to be friends
But I haven't thought of you lately at all

Yes... there were so many people that summer that I don't even remember half their names... But you me and you didn't end with that summer even though you weren't there... there was the horrible time you and me got caught sneaking out and the awesome party you and me threw on our birthdays at EC-41... and there were plenty of fun weekends with you me and you and our various beaux... And so it passed... 1999, and 2000 much like each other and I guess 2001 as well... there were trips to Bangalore and trips to Goa and trips to Pondicherry and Kodaikanal... there was Deep Purple and Bryan Adams and Roger Waters... there was always the East Coast Road and beach houses and house parties and night clubs and pub hopping... And just as emotionally as it had begun, it was over... three years had passed and you me and you found ourselves at the beginning of another summer... the summer of 2002...

We get high in backseats of cars
We go out in stormy weather
And that's the way we get by

You bought a new bag of pot
So lets make a new start
And that's the way to my heart to
Way to my heart

That's all we did I think for 3 years... get high... and that summer of 2002 was no different... except at the end of this summer you me and you would live in different cities... again... And so we spent that summer living like there was no tomorrow... we met up every day... we met up every night... R's backyard and W&W were our playgrounds... every afternoon we'd drift from W&W to the cigarette shop opposite the ice-cream place, and then back to W&W and sometimes we'd go to Barista and Rat's terrace and C's terrace and sometimes we'd venture as far as the drive-in but we always returned to W&W... and in the nights we'd go drinking at the beach or the beachhouse or G2 or Geoffreys but mostly we sat around in R's backyard and laughed and talked and got stoned and drunk... at least one night a week was you me and you night at my house towards the end of that summer... so you me and you would drink till we were blind and smoke till our throats hurt and talk about how it had been and how it all might be... and sometimes we'd sing the songs of our youth that always made us smile...

Time, don't let it slip away
Raise your drinking glass, here's to yesterday
And time, we're all going to trip away
Don't piss heaven off, or there'll be hell to pay
Come full circle


It's been three years since that memorable summer... sometimes I can hardly believe it's been so long because whenever I want to remember something good, I always think back to that summer and it seems like just yesterday... sure, you me and you are still best friends... and you me and you have been together since... you and me even watched you get married just the other day... but that summer was the last time that you me and you lived in Madras at the same time...

I sit here miles away and say I miss my home Madras but what I really miss is you me and you... because what is home if not the people (and dogs) that make it the most wonderful place on earth...

So when I should return to Madras, if you and you don't live there anymore, I will still go out and get drunk and stoned with all the random people we've gotten close to over the years and I will still visit the same old places we once visited together, and I will laugh and sing and reminisce about days gone by... but as I do all these things, at the back of my mind, I will be remembering you me and you and the amazing time you me and you had growing up in a little city called Madras...

So when I should return to Madras, if you me and you are together again... well... it will be the best time of my life again...

I move on to another day
To a whole new town with a whole new way
You don't know where and you don't know when
But you still got your words and you got your friends

That's right... I've got my friends... I don't need much else... And in all my travels I've never quite got the same feeling I get from Madras and I've never quite met anyone who is as special to me as you me and you...

In Memory of the Most Lovable Dog that Ever Lived

Darling H... its been more than a year now since you were taken from me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you or see your adorable face or miss you terribly. And when I dream about you... I think that hits me the most... because in my dreams, you're alive and we're together and we're hanging out just the way we used to, and then I wake up and I'm filled with such an ache at the realisation that it was just a dream, and you are still dead, and I am still alone.

Oh H, I still don't understand why it had to happen. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You weren't even meant to be mine. You were meant to be A's special pet. You were my Christmas gift to her. And that's why we named you H. And then you sneaked into my heart and I was willing to give up the world for you (in your case, that meant the best seats in the house and waking up at the crack of dawn to let you out to pee). Not that A didn't love you as much. But you and me, we had a special bond. Because I spoilt you like there was no tomorrow and A was a bit more impatient and intolerant of your mad behaviour.

Hahaha... your mad behaviour... you were the naughtiest dog ever. I remember your bravado on your first day in your new home, running out in excitement and then turning right on your heel and smashing into the wall at the first sight of your sister C. Yeah, how you abused her once you grew slightly tall. And your second day, when I came to say goodbye to you on my way to college, that's the first time you spoke and I thought it was so strange and then it became such a part of you that today people think I'm crazy when I say that you spoke to people.

Remember when you sat on your A's head - I was so drunk, all I could do was laugh. And remember when you massacred her entire Barbie collection. That was one of the funniest sights of my life... heads, arms, legs, all over the place. Boy, was she mad!!

I remember the first time you saw yourself in the mirror... you nearly broke the mirror in all the excitement.

And that time at C's birthday party when that tiny little terror M scared the hell out of you who was thrice her size... and all you wanted to do was play, you poor little thing.

How about the day when you ate at least 20 individually wrapped heart-shaped chocolate biscuits that Dad had bought me for Valentine's Day and all that was left over were miniscule little bits of red foil... how sick were you that day... served you right, you greedy thing!!

I'll never forget your presence of mind that night when you and C somehow ran out of the gate and nobody realised because we were busy getting drunk and then you come back and start talking real loudly and imagine my shock when I see that you're outside the gate and you had come back just to warn me that C was outside trying to get it on with some rather unsavoury neighbourhood dogs. You probably saved C from getting rabies that night H. I know you loved her to death inspite of the way you treated her.

I loved how you let Mom and S know exactly how you felt everytime they had to do the dirty work of tying you up or sending you out of the house. Your barking could've brought down the roof on those occasions. And when Mom slapped us in mock anger, you would let her know in no uncertain terms that she would have you to answer to if she ever hurt A or me.

What cruel tricks A and I used to play on you... We only did it because we loved you and we loved how you talked back and we loved how easy it was to trick you... Our favourite was calling your name on speaker phone... that really spooked you out... as did the balloon that made noise when the air was let out. My poor baby...

But you used to play a game with me too, every single morning... you'd paw me until I woke up at the unearthly hour that you used to like waking up, and then we'd walk to the ramp and the house would be dead silent, so you'd refuse to move unless I walked with you... And then you'd just settle yourself on the rug outside Mom and Dad's room and refuse to budge even after I'd opened the front door for you... And you knew I couldn't leave you there and go back to bed... the house would be in a shambles by the time everyone was up... So, I'd have to pretend to go to sleep on the diwan in the living room, and only then would you rise and run down the stairs and go outside... you were so strange H... but I loved every minute of living with you.

And you were a bit of a flirt weren't you... Mom, A and me got a bit boring to you after a couple of hours of hanging with you, but you always had a moment to chat with Dad anytime he said anything to you. And you would never rise for any of the women in the house, but as soon as Dad called you over to talk to you, you'd jump up and race to him, as if he might change his mind. He had a soft spot for you H... we all did... it was impossible not to love you.

Oh H, I miss your mad behaviour, and your sloppy kisses, and your fur that was softer than a baby's bottom, and your eyes that made me melt everytime I looked at you, and your voice, and your lethal lethal tail with which you knocked over people and things alike... Now, I just surround myself with images of you so that you are always close to me... your picture on the dressing table is the first thing I see in the morning after I've showered... I look at your picture on my phone at the tramstop... I switch on my computer at work, and there you are again as my wallpaper... I go home and get dinner started and you're looking at me from the fridge... you're even my MSN photo on MSN Instant Messenger... but it isn't enough, and it will never be enough... because you will never come back. I only hope that one day we can meet again... maybe there are day trips to dog heaven or something from human heaven (let's hope I do go to human heaven)... And until then, please know that you meant the world to me, and I lost a part of me when you died, and I will never ever be able to replace you... And of course, stay out of trouble in dog heaven and be the most lovable dog that ever died (which I know you will be)...