Darling H... its been more than a year now since you were taken from me. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you or see your adorable face or miss you terribly. And when I dream about you... I think that hits me the most... because in my dreams, you're alive and we're together and we're hanging out just the way we used to, and then I wake up and I'm filled with such an ache at the realisation that it was just a dream, and you are still dead, and I am still alone.
Oh H, I still don't understand why it had to happen. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You weren't even meant to be mine. You were meant to be A's special pet. You were my Christmas gift to her. And that's why we named you H. And then you sneaked into my heart and I was willing to give up the world for you (in your case, that meant the best seats in the house and waking up at the crack of dawn to let you out to pee). Not that A didn't love you as much. But you and me, we had a special bond. Because I spoilt you like there was no tomorrow and A was a bit more impatient and intolerant of your mad behaviour.
Hahaha... your mad behaviour... you were the naughtiest dog ever. I remember your bravado on your first day in your new home, running out in excitement and then turning right on your heel and smashing into the wall at the first sight of your sister C. Yeah, how you abused her once you grew slightly tall. And your second day, when I came to say goodbye to you on my way to college, that's the first time you spoke and I thought it was so strange and then it became such a part of you that today people think I'm crazy when I say that you spoke to people.
Remember when you sat on your A's head - I was so drunk, all I could do was laugh. And remember when you massacred her entire Barbie collection. That was one of the funniest sights of my life... heads, arms, legs, all over the place. Boy, was she mad!!
I remember the first time you saw yourself in the mirror... you nearly broke the mirror in all the excitement.
And that time at C's birthday party when that tiny little terror M scared the hell out of you who was thrice her size... and all you wanted to do was play, you poor little thing.
How about the day when you ate at least 20 individually wrapped heart-shaped chocolate biscuits that Dad had bought me for Valentine's Day and all that was left over were miniscule little bits of red foil... how sick were you that day... served you right, you greedy thing!!
I'll never forget your presence of mind that night when you and C somehow ran out of the gate and nobody realised because we were busy getting drunk and then you come back and start talking real loudly and imagine my shock when I see that you're outside the gate and you had come back just to warn me that C was outside trying to get it on with some rather unsavoury neighbourhood dogs. You probably saved C from getting rabies that night H. I know you loved her to death inspite of the way you treated her.
I loved how you let Mom and S know exactly how you felt everytime they had to do the dirty work of tying you up or sending you out of the house. Your barking could've brought down the roof on those occasions. And when Mom slapped us in mock anger, you would let her know in no uncertain terms that she would have you to answer to if she ever hurt A or me.
What cruel tricks A and I used to play on you... We only did it because we loved you and we loved how you talked back and we loved how easy it was to trick you... Our favourite was calling your name on speaker phone... that really spooked you out... as did the balloon that made noise when the air was let out. My poor baby...
But you used to play a game with me too, every single morning... you'd paw me until I woke up at the unearthly hour that you used to like waking up, and then we'd walk to the ramp and the house would be dead silent, so you'd refuse to move unless I walked with you... And then you'd just settle yourself on the rug outside Mom and Dad's room and refuse to budge even after I'd opened the front door for you... And you knew I couldn't leave you there and go back to bed... the house would be in a shambles by the time everyone was up... So, I'd have to pretend to go to sleep on the diwan in the living room, and only then would you rise and run down the stairs and go outside... you were so strange H... but I loved every minute of living with you.
And you were a bit of a flirt weren't you... Mom, A and me got a bit boring to you after a couple of hours of hanging with you, but you always had a moment to chat with Dad anytime he said anything to you. And you would never rise for any of the women in the house, but as soon as Dad called you over to talk to you, you'd jump up and race to him, as if he might change his mind. He had a soft spot for you H... we all did... it was impossible not to love you.
Oh H, I miss your mad behaviour, and your sloppy kisses, and your fur that was softer than a baby's bottom, and your eyes that made me melt everytime I looked at you, and your voice, and your lethal lethal tail with which you knocked over people and things alike... Now, I just surround myself with images of you so that you are always close to me... your picture on the dressing table is the first thing I see in the morning after I've showered... I look at your picture on my phone at the tramstop... I switch on my computer at work, and there you are again as my wallpaper... I go home and get dinner started and you're looking at me from the fridge... you're even my MSN photo on MSN Instant Messenger... but it isn't enough, and it will never be enough... because you will never come back. I only hope that one day we can meet again... maybe there are day trips to dog heaven or something from human heaven (let's hope I do go to human heaven)... And until then, please know that you meant the world to me, and I lost a part of me when you died, and I will never ever be able to replace you... And of course, stay out of trouble in dog heaven and be the most lovable dog that ever died (which I know you will be)...
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