There’s something wrong with the world today, I don’t know what it is. Something’s wrong with our eyes. We’re seeing things in a different light, and

Bushfires are a way of life in Australia particularly in the dry summer months. So normally you hear about it in the news and you feel sorry for the loss of wildlife and property and sometimes human life but mostly it’s as remote as the monsoon floods in Bombay or the hurricanes in the US. But not this year… this year is looking to be the biggest bushfire season in I’m not sure how many years and they are predicting these fires will go on for the next three months and a few millions of hectares of lands will be destroyed in the process. But what is really really frightening is how the smoke from these fires burning a couple of hundred of kilometres away has been consistently making it to the city at least once a week until the wind changes again. I am looking out my window and literally not able to see beyond a couple of blocks... the smoke has been getting into the ventilation systems of all the buildings and there’s this constant burning smell in the air and sometimes our eyes water… and this is us, sitting here safe and sound in the urban jungle… I can’t even begin to imagine what the fire fighters and other rescue workers are going through on the front lines and all the other affected communities and towns. And everything goes back to climate change and global warming… I remember in class 8 or 9 I wrote a critical composition on global warming and my teacher said it was damn good… I don’t think I chose that topic, it was just given to us but I can’t even remember what I wrote. What on earth could I have known about global warming then? I vaguely remember something about the ozone layer and now at 25, that’s still all I know. And that the big giant hole in it is right above Australia! So as distant as the effects of global warming and climate change are predicted to be, they’re already here. And let me tell you, walking on the streets when its 35 degrees, with the sun being blocked by a grey ash smelling canopy of haze is incredibly eerie. Almost like a ghost town…

But on to cheerier topics… like Christmas… what an incredibly cheery time it is… they call it the silly season and we have been having the silliest times with Christmas and birthday parties galore. At my work one which was an all day thing at the Yarra Valley which is a premier wine district close to Melbourne, we had like a mini Olympics thing all afternoon and me, little ol’ unfit me, managed to scale a 12 metre rock climbing wall. It was insane… like getting off the ground was hard and then I just kept going and suddenly I’d get stuck not knowing where to move my hands or legs next and I’d just hug that freaking wall and say, fuck, what now??!! But eventually I made it to the top and abseiled down and it was just awesome. So…never say never! Then they tried to convince me to join the company’s girl’s team for a triathlon next year which includes a 400m swim, 4km run and 10km bike ride and in the rush of all that adrenalin I said yes. But having had time to reflect and return to my lazy unfit lifestyle, I have completely changed my mind. But anyway, my team which was Team White won pretty much all the activities and so we won the whole thing and we all got little Christmas hamper thingies as presents… they have some awesome presents/events at this new workplace of mine. We got overnight type bags as our Christmas presents and had like two Christmas parties and then we’re constantly being invited to smaller team bbq’s, coffees and lunches. Like today, we had a coffee catch up as part of one team and then I went to a team lunch as part of another team. Good fun it is and tomorrow is my last day before heading off to Christmas break so even better.

Outside of work, attended various other sessions… went to a Christmas party like no other complete with Bad Santa and dirty as Christmas carols… was so funny. I got a lovely Santa hat with lights all around it so with batteries, I was lit up like a Christmas tree. Oh my god, I have so had it with shopping… shopping for people, shopping for the house, even grocery freaking shopping, when will it all end? I have been to the stupid shops pretty much every day in the last two weeks and I am so over it. I hope I don’t have to shop until June next year at least (although we all know I’ll be back at it long before then…)

So aunt and uncle have made it to New Zealand and will be arriving here tomorrow evening. Tomorrow is my last day of work before 10 sweet days of unbridled relaxation and entertainment. The four of us are heading up to Port Douglas on Dec 26 for some sun and sand and a long awaited glimpse of the Great Barrier Reef – so I can cross at least one of the natural wonders of the world off my list then. And then we’ll be back here for New Years… last year Goa, this year Melbourne. Different, but should be good still.

Last year this time I was in Madras and fully revelling in all the food, fun and attention. This year, I feel more remote from Madras than I’ve felt in a long time. There are always periods where I lose complete touch with what’s happening and feel disinclined to make an effort to find out because it’s nice for someone else to make the effort for a change.

The thing is though that home is where the heart is and my heart is still firmly ensconced in the house I grew up in and the room my sister now inhabits, with my parents and my baby sister and the can’t-live-without-‘em four legged friends. I posted a Christmas card to my parents today and when I was picking it, this one said something about thanking them for making Christmas so magical when I was a child and it’s amazing how thoughtful they continue to be even now and oh my god, it was all I could do to fight the tears back being in the crowded store and all (well, a few escaped) because every word was true and I feel guilty sometimes that I just don’t let them know how much they mean to me and take them for granted and even get really annoyed with them when spending long periods of time with them in the same house. So if they read this blog, they would know but of course they don’t so I hope the card will suffice.

Merry Merry Christmas and see you on the other side of 2007.

Can you hear me when I sing… you’re the reason I sing… you’re the reason why the opera is in me…

So November has also passed. I honestly can’t account for how quickly the days are flying by. It seems like just yesterday I was shopping for my trip to India but that was a whole year ago. And this year, there will be no India. There will most likely be no India next year either so that kinda sucks.

The other day was the first day of December. It was also the first official day of summer and at least the last evening in November provided a warm welcome to this season unlike the so-called spring which was really just a horrid extension of winter this year. So that evening at a balmy 30 degrees, we sipped Coronas on the balcony and then took in Borat at the cinema. I don’t know how to comment on this movie… it certainly had its laugh out loud moments but mostly it was just crude and well, if you’ve watched a lot of the Ali G shows with Borat clips, you know exactly what’s coming like when he goes to a formal dinner party and what kind of polaroids he’s going to show of his life back home.

But getting back to November, time really flew because I had way too many things on with the concerts, changing jobs, slacking off at home in between concerts and jobs, etc., etc. So to the concerts, I was left with Pearl Jam and U2. Pearl Jam was awesome in a very oh-my-god-he’s-so-insane kind of way. He started off all normal concert-like but by the end he was not even pretending to be sober anymore and just fully skulling straight from a wine bottle and jumping all over the place and at one point he fell really badly but just jumped right up again. Oh, it was truly entertaining. People say the Red Hot Chilli Peppers are mad to watch on stage but I watched them live in 2002 and they don’t even come close to Eddie. I have Jeremy recorded on my phone from that evening!

Then 1.5 days later, it was time for U2. Numerous die-hard fans began queuing at the venue in the wee hours of Saturday morning. We knew we had no chance of competing with that so we got pretty drunk and stoned instead at my house and only got there about 6:30 pm. We found ourselves a whatever spot (I say, whatever because it was no great shakes and I couldn’t directly see the stage, only the screens, but seriously, as much I enjoy U2 and all, I have no desire to be crushed in by some mad people...) and made some trips to bar/bathroom before Mr. Kanye West got on stage. Of course, everyone sang along loudly to Gold digger and then fully lost interest… haha. In between Kanye and U2, there was some 45 minutes of set up and I went to the bathroom in all this and was in such a tension that I’d miss their opening song which I knew would be City of Blinding Lights but anyway, all was good and I got back well in time. And then they were on…

Fuck, it was awesome! I don’t know what else to say. I just didn’t want it to end… I knew every single song except for one song but the videos for that song were so tripped out, it didn’t even matter. It was such a perfect night – there was U2 singing the bestest songs, all the ones I wanted, and it was a warm night so the dome of the venue was open so I alternated between looking up at the screens and up at the stars… Bono was a dream, The Edge was brilliant, Adam Clayton was the furthest away from me and rather in the background, and there was Larry Mullen Jr. beating away at the drums with a really sweet smile on his face the whole time and with his military cut blond hair looking like a poster child for the Germany Army. He is my current favourite of the band – he has two Labs who he has dedicated albums to… so sweet. So anyway, I had goose bumps most of the way and shed a tear or two here and there and just remembering it now is making me feel all funny… was just so good. Obviously I was very happy with City of Blinding Lights, Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own and One, and then he played With or Without You and I swear there were shivers running down my spine the whole time. The final song was Kite and it was sooooo good… and I knew it was the last song so that made it extra poignant and he kept singing, I know that this is not goodbye… I sure hope it ain’t… come back U2, come back! So, that was that… I have City of Blinding Lights and One recorded on my phone from that evening.

So the next big milestone was that I started my new job and then that weekend we went camping to Wilsons Prom which is the southern most tip of mainland Australia. Never been there before and never been camping before and both were great experiences although our roughing it could hardly have been considered roughing it. Still, we did the whole tent bit and it wasn’t our fault toilets with hot showers are conveniently located 200 metres from all campsites and that Big City Dude brought his beloved bbq along and kept us happily supplied with hot dogs and rissoles for all our meals.

So we also attempted these hikes to some beaches and up some mountains and all. One of these beaches is called Squeaky Beach because the sand allegedly squeaks when you walk on it, and it actually does. It’s awesome! The second day we hiked up some Mount Bishop and a dreadful little black snake crossed the path in front of me… now, it’s hard to fully express how absolutely I detest and abhor all things reptilian but snakes, in particular. And so, it was my greatest fear something like that would happen and of course it had to. So next time, I will say come on out, snake and meet me if you have the guts to and then maybe I won’t have to face it. But on Saturday night, when I was walking back from the toilet with a trusty torchlight in hand, a wombat crossed the path in front of me and that was pretty cool. We spent Sat night singing loudly around the lantern (unfortunately it’s bush fire season and campfires are a strict no no so we had to make do) and then went to bed relatively early cos of exhaustion from previous night drinking and early morning start and wilderness trekking. But the stars that came out that night were a sight to witness… Starry starry night only!

In other news went for a Jamaican themed birthday party last weekend and I have to say I was very hopelessly dressed and looked most un-Jamaican but birthday girl had done much decorating and had some horrid looking dreadlocks for extra measure. But the bestest and funniest part was the batches of special brownies that had been prepared and oh my god, it was hilarious. The thing is we’re used to it and we still got so fucked and laughed so much and there were all these other people who never smoke and went a bit mad (in a hilarious manner) and then apparently there were also people who ate nicely and had no idea they were special. Far out man, haven’t laughed so much like every 2 seconds in so long. So, today is her birthday and since she reads this blog apparently, Happy Birthday Ms. Jamaica and welcome to blogworld… hehe!

This week I decided to take another health and fitness stand and went to my apartment gym for the first time in 3 months and worked out a bit. And then last evening I went rowing, my second time in Oz, and arms and back are feeling slightly fucked and the constant friction from the oar has torn a sizable chunk of skin off my thumb… ouch! But seriously, I compare the Yarra with the Cooum and they’re not that different… perhaps one just smells a bit less than the other.

And finally, a moment to reflect on Christmas which is fast approaching… this year I will be here of course and will have two members of the family with me apart from my boyfriend and it should be really good and I know it’s going to be a bumper year for presents cos my aunt always buys me awesome clothes. And I get to trim the tree again and I’ve gone out and bought lots more Christmassy stuff and I have my work Christmas party on Friday and various other Christmas things planned and it should be great!

Tomorrow I start at a client site so I don’t know when I’ll be back again but I thought I’d better update it before it died on me fully for the year.

I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams

I’ve found a way to make you smile… I count your eyelashes, secretly…

The other night I watched you while you slept… I tried to count your eyelashes… I didn’t get very far… So I kissed your cheek instead… And found a way to make you smile…

A song for no one's in my hand A song they'll never understand Till I have gone And tomorrow brings the sun

From night skies dressed in clouds
Morning came, your taste in my mouth
I like the way that your hair falls down in your eyes
And you blush when you smile
When sleep combs your side then far away flies

I love the way that you stare when the sleep fills your eyes
So yesterday has gone
Who knows, tomorrow may bring all we'll desire
Tomorrow brings the sun

Kiss the world with fingers crossed
I've kissed the world with fingers crossed
I've been praised
I've been cursed
I've been blamed
And I've won
And I've lost

On waves that fill your heart
The future glides
I hope the serpents in the tide
Are all gone
What's done is done

A song for no one's in my hand
A song they'll never understand
Til I have gone
And tomorrow brings the sun

I’ve had this list of songs my whole life (well, it keeps getting added to) that I’ve always fantasised my loved one would serenade me with. Well, if not serenade per se, think of me whenever it plays and dedicate to me by explaining why it reminds him of me. I would feel strange to publish this list to him (cos that would be crass) because it happens that I listen to a song and think he should somehow read my mind and know too that that song was written for me and tell me so… . The list is long and varied… most of them are vague like this one… a song for no one… and then are the ones about women and relationships like Woman by John Lennon and She by Elvis Costello and then there’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel. I remember we were listening to it on shared earphones on our way to work one morning when we still had to travel 45 mins by tram and I explained how I wanted him to sing it to me because couldn’t he see, it was completely about me (it’s ok to be crass once in a while). So he said, not to worry, Billy Joel himself would sing it for me. This is true. I watched Billy Joel live in concert on Friday night. I’d like to tell you about my terribly exciting gig calendar but I am strangely not in a mood to crow about my love for U2 (although, believe me, I do love them)… I’m in a very vague mood… this could be because I’m finally moving on to bigger and better things. The risk with bigger and better things though is you just never know how really bigger and better they can be. And sometimes they’re neither.

Wow, Shakin’ Stevens and Give Me Your Heart Tonight just started playing. That’s another one. And I Love You by Saigon Kick. And The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra. And then there’s that other completely random Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day. You know, I was thinking about the bands I still have to watch live and I’m only missing Paul McCartney, R.E.M. and I realised that I would very much love to watch Green Day. And my aunt and uncle insist Beck is a must see but I don’t think I’ve heard any of their music in ages. Not that any of these people are coming over but they might. Modest Mouse who I really really liked for a while is playing on Dec 29 but I won’t be in Melbourne. The Killers wouldn’t be bad either.

Alright then… since I started talking about music I might as well talk about the concerts I’m going to watch/have watched in these two weeks… Billy Joel last Friday night, Pearl Jam this Thursday night and the grandest finale of them all, U2, baby this Saturday night. Oh, and I might as well throw in Roger Waters on Feb 1, 2007. Of these, I am more excited by U2 than I thought possible because I hadn’t even listened to my How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb LP that I received as a going away present from work in MARCH until one drunken Thursday night two weeks ago. And on that same night, I listened to the whole album once and then I listened to City of Blinding Lights for three hours perhaps… and believe you me, with an LP this is no easy task… one has to manually go over and position the needle every fucking time! But so seriously, until last Thursday all I wanted to watch U2 for was One and possibly With Or Without You and all the other randoms like Streets Have No Name and Sunday Bloody Sunday and everything but I really only cared about One. This is of course until I heard City of Blinding Lights and I will throw a severe tantrum and go into a dark depression if I do not hear them play this live after all that. I mean, them playing One is a given… it’s going to be a total final encore type song with the lighters in the air and everything. So yeah, we’ll see… either way, it’s going to be an awesome week.

Actually, it’s been pretty good for the last two weeks too. I heard some great news the previous Thursday and in preparation/anticipation/celebration had many drinks on Wednesday and Thursday night (the same U2 marathon Thursday). Then I took an extended break from work from Friday until Tuesday and luxuriated on the couch on Friday and accessory shopped for the house on Saturday and Sunday and did many household things on Monday and then Monday night arrived. Two legendary progressive DJs named Sasha & Digweed graced these shores… in fact, they graced the club right outside my house which was just an added bonus… I went for Sasha last year but apparently Sasha & Digweed together is an unbeatable combination and so went fully prepared for the time of my life and I have to say, I think I had it. I think there are some experiences better left unsaid because it is impossible to try and express with words how one really feels. I have had many such moments where there is always an overwhelming factor like the music or the lights or the people or the emotion and with one big whammy, I’m left speechless and either want to laugh or cry and sometimes do both. That Goa one on New Years Day 2002 and Roger Waters singing Comfortably Numb in Bangalore and some rainy and non-rainy moments heavily intoxicated and dancing under the moonlight with Mr. Moonlight and Mark Knopler playing Brothers in Arms in Melbourne and well, you get the idea…

Billy Joel was great. I never even fully appreciated how freaking brilliant he is on the piano. And when he sang Uptown Girl, I was so very very happy :-) That song, goes back so many fucking years, it's crazy. Of course the second encore finale was Piano Man and I have it entirely recorded on video on my phone… only, my voice singing along is seemingly louder than his… haha…

So, the days are blurring from one to the next as I wake up late and choose whether or not to come into the office… most mornings in the last two weeks, my head has had a light drum and bass band playing a welcome for the first two hours of the day and my throat has cried out in pain until I satisfied its demands for the elixir of life… The nights have been flying by with the aid of all manner of intoxicants and then there has been U2 and Pink Floyd at the crack of dawn.

Funny thing about U2… I've been an unconscious fan my whole life… When I listen to their Best of 1980 to 1990 CD, I can't help but associate memories with the entire CD… cos it would play in my car, over and over and over… as I drove through the hot, humid, dusty, streets… to college, to entertainment, to shop… the scorching sunlight abated somewhat by the air conditioning and the sunglasses…

Sometimes, as I drove home at evening or night, still humid and dusty but allowing a faintly cool breeze to come in by rolling the windows down a crack, belting out… walk on by, walk on through, walk till you run and don’t look back, for here I am… and at a lot of these times, I was hurrying home because I had the munchies and needed a food fix ASAP and all the frying smells in the air on the way home would drive me insane cos have you noticed that Madras (and quite possibly, India) smells of food everywhere you go… sure, there’s pollution and cow dung but heading home on the main streets, passing by the tea kadais and the street vendors, its impossible for that smell of something deep frying in oil to not come wafting across the cars and pedestrians and cows and noise…

And then a lot of the times, as I sat there stuck in traffic, outside the back entrance of my alma mater Good Shepherd and inching forwards towards Sangeetha’s and I’d be singing out loud as I tend to do in the car and people around me would sometimes give me amused glances and sometimes I’d be amused too and smile back but mostly I just tuned out and lost myself completely in whatever was playing… and then before I’d know it, I’d be over the Chetpet bridge and into the relatively sweet release of Poonamallee High Road… once I got to Annanagar, I always had this thing about the home stretch… it was my own special route from just before the infamous Annanagar Roundturner (which is pronounced by all and sundry as “roundtana”) to home a couple of blocks away… it was a major timesaving escape from the traffic at the Roundturner and it was down some peaceful streets with lots of trees and beautiful houses… and then this time I visited, they had concreted the main road so you couldn’t turn into the street anymore… the home stretch has never felt the same since.

So U2 were there and you were there too, and us, and them, and now U2 will be here again this weekend and I’m gearing up to bawl my eyes out because the beauty of it all will just kill me. And no one has put it better than I believe the Grateful Dead when they said…

What a long strange trip it’s been!

Spinning away, like the night sky On a hill, under a raven sky I have no idea exactly where I've been Some kind of change, some kind of spinning away

My last wild weekend in pictures (seems like eons ago now)… my first theme party in Australia I might add… Some kudos to myself (yeah, bring on the self congratulatory wishes) and fellow organiser Flowerchild.

The invite (designed by yours truly)


The banner (also me)


The party favours (some crappy $1 nail polish inside each takeaway box… it was really just for effect. How we attempted to draw martini glasses on the side with glitter glue and we found the most adorable martini glass stickers… but it was madness as we tried to finish all this at the 11th hour. Oh, lets not forget the thank you tags (thanks to Rat and sister Rat) and me maliciously mutilating it with a fork until Shutterbug came to the rescue with hole punch, blue tac and various other amenities.)

The video of NYC and Melbourne city images in the background (by Flowerchild… to set the mood)


The light bathroom reading


The food (yeah I apologise… you can’t really see it… but believe me when I say it was all very New York and hors d’oeveish. It was really cheap and easy too except driving what seemed like miles and miles to the little Middle Eastern bakery in the middle of nowhere for the mini quiches. How some people find these spots I don’t know but I nearly killed a few people turning into it. Yeah, goes against middle of nowhere if there were people to be killed but it’s complicated.)

The cocktails (of course, the best part… we had Apple Martinis and the signature Sex & the City drink, the Cosmopolitan. I know in my last post I said something about the tequila high… well the cocktail high is similar and much much better… I was floating… all night… brilliance… don’t miss the name tags so people didn’t lose their martini glass)

The bride


The hostesses


The girls (well, some…)


The dog (awwww…)


The boys (they had a stripper but from the pictures she looked old and boring… of course, they will beg to differ… in this pic, they’re pretending to be pirates, I don’t know why)





The merge (like on Survivor, but funner (I don’t believe that’s a word)… total chaos ensued… we ran out of all our booze and took to swigging straight from the Baileys bottle and some boys mixed tequila into the rest of the cocktails and boy was it foul… it completely messed some people up too)

The club (we went to this place called Marakesh which played the most awesome house and there were some incidents along the way as usual… let’s just say henceforth I will maintain a safe distance between my head and all things metal (cab doors, for example)… the club was a real blur… I was later told I consumed a shot or two of tequila which some people thoughtfully bought for everyone… this may or may not be true. I’m not even entirely sure how so many of us made it there cos it was in some alleyway and I guess there must have 1 or 2 less drunk people coordinating… I know that I will never be able to find the place again… I only remember dancing… and jumping up and down in happiness… and walking home in the freezing cold with the rain pouring down around us and ruining our fabulous dresses and high heels… and I also remember looking up at the heavens in wonder and delight… and laughing… and laughing…)

It was a perfect high and a perfect night. How come they all don’t turn out this way? I shouldn’t ask such silly complaining type questions… the truth is, I have nothing to complain about… except for a few dry spells here and there, the majority of my life has been pretty damn awesome.

On a completely unrelated note, I just walked through Myer which I tend to do when I need to go anywhere because once you get inside Myer, you can walk about 3 city blocks without having to be outdoors and on days like today that have a mild wind chill factor (ha, Melbourne weather does not understand the meaning of the word ‘mild’… it is either blistering heat or bone chilling winds) Myer is a most handy indoor route. So anyway, in Myer, they have already set up their 100 or so Christmas trees much in advance for the Christmas season. I’m sorry, but October? That is way too early even for me.

Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me… I’m not sleepy and there ain’t no place I’m going to

This life of debauchery and excess on the weekends is taking its toll on my aging quarter century old body. My weeks suck ass because, did I mention I’m not happy at my job? Yeah, that’s going to be a bit of a recurring theme for a while. But the weekends, oh boy, where do I begin. I left off at my birthday weekend and then two weeks and weekends have passed already? The weeks are a serious haze of recovery from Saturday nights.

So the weekend before, I decided I couldn’t spend money (because have I also mentioned that my new house and furniture have destroyed me financially… me,… who always had thousands of dollars so safely saved up and now only have $50 in liquid cash to last me till the end of Oct) and couldn’t buy a bottle of alcohol (cos no one else in this crowded world drinks Bacardi and I’ve really had it with trying to switch to whiskey… all I get for my efforts is a mild headache instead of a buzz)! So I took stock of leftover booze from my party and the only thing on offer was tequila. So I thought, why not… awesome plan… a few shots and then we hit the bar where the birthday party is and I’m set for the night… also shots, so no coke or anything fucking things up… won’t even need to buy drinks later.

Plan worked brilliantly… some might say too brilliantly. There was me and Mr. Moonlight and Sam and Guitarman and I got them into the shooting spirit too, so it was 4 really wasted individuals who made their way on foot across the river and into the crowded noisy city (was Grand Final Night – Grand Final refers to the finals showdown of Aussie rules football which is bigger than Christmas in Victoria). Smashed as I was, it was a really perfect high… felt on top of the world and in the bestest of spirits… even made a speech for the birthday girl about our school life together and a certain fancy pencil case she had that I was highly envious of in class two (this speech has now been spread far and wide… stupid fuckers). Now, don’t think I just stood on top of a table and said hear ye, hear ye and started reminiscing… far from it… I was “requested” to make a speech… and the tequila helped mightily with the public speaking aspect.

And then at the very early hour of 1 am or so, we chose to leave for our general health and well being… actually I didn’t want to leave but then, I never want to leave if I’m having a good time… and staggered home and had numerous adventures on the way… like, for real… Walking home drunk is awesome… and I love how much I’m saving on cab rides.

Sunday and the week that followed was too dreadful for words. Actually that weekend, on Friday night I stayed up late and practiced guitar scales and chords for many hours and believe I have made a breakthrough (of course, haven’t been near it since)… I can play Last Kiss and Tambourine Man albeit with 5 second pauses every time I need to change chords. Actually it started cos I was just browsing channels late at night and the only thing watchable was this movie A Lot Like Love… and towards the end (I missed the first half hour), Ashton Kutcher serenades this chick with the guitar and he plays I’ll Be There For You by Bon Jovi (and he played it exactly like I’m playing my Last Kiss and Tambourine Man, I might add… but of course, it’s a movie ahd he’s an actor) and suddenly I got all nostalgic for Bon Jovi and his power ballads… I’ll be there for you, these five words I’ll swear to you… and Jon Bon Jovi has always been about living and dying for you and what not and I’ve always known that’s incredibly cheesy but by god, there was something about his voice and the way he sang and his music videos and I guess the way he looked himself, that I just believed him. I believed true love could be suicide and that I’d already cried a thousand rivers (and I was what, 14 or 15?)… and if any boy had come to me and said or even better, sung… baby, you know my hands are dirty, but I wanted to be your valentine, I would’ve forgiven him anything and everything and considered that the single most romantic moment of my life. :-) And the truth is,... baby... you’re all that I need.

So I don’t know… I’d forgotten all about them and at one point I lived and breathed and sang only them. So, now I’m listening to the songs again and they’re sending little tingles down my spine… well this hotel bar hangovers whiskey’s gone dry… tonight I won’t be alone, but you know that don’t mean I’m not lonely… I’ve got nothing to prove for it’s you that I’d die to defend… I’ve made mistakes, I’m just a man… If you told me to die for you I would… What tragedy, what drama and then always hope… We’ll find a place where the sun still shines.

So I didn’t mean to talk about Bon Jovi so much… I guess some memories from another age of listening to Keep The Faith and Crossroads every night before falling asleep (and singing along really loudly too) and every morning while getting dressed, have resurfaced and just needed to be laid down on (electronic) paper. My own personal Bon Jovi teenage angsty anthem from this period was Runaway. Gee, there was no Google then either… all the lyrics had to be painstakingly learnt by heart with the CD on repeat or written down and memorised with pause and play being hit every 5 seconds… I’d like to have that much time on my hands again… :-) It was a great life, a perfect time…

So the desire to be able to play I’ll Be There For You and other such greats as Livin’ on a Prayer got me to pick up the ol’ six string and try my luck… I’ll get there… eventually…

I wanted to tell you about this weekend and the absolutely insane crazy wild Saturday night but I might save it for the next one… besides, I’m still waiting on a lot of pictures… lazy bitches!!!

But one other tiny thing about that weekend… on the Sunday I watched the first three episodes of Star Wars for the first time in my life… I haven’t even watched the original trilogy… I just automatically tuned out anytime anything remotely sci-fi came up in the past (although I did go through a Star Trek phase very briefly but that was only cos I probably needed a break from Bon Jovi and there weren’t all that many options on a Saturday night on our beloved Star Plus). But so, I somehow got into watching the first one and I was riveted… it was a marathon on tv and by the time I got to episode 3, I knew that Anakin was going to become the evil dark lord Darth Vader or whatever but it didn’t make it any less painful to watch his slow downfall. Why Ani, why? Haha… I kinda get it now… the obsession for some people… I don’t think I want to watch 4 to 6 though… the dodgy special effects would just piss me off and I know the story anyway… or maybe I will… who knows…

You know, my Bon Jovi companion was always Aerosmith… it’s amazing… with the blink of an eye you’re 25. At least, I let the right ones in…

Go, go, go shawty It's your birthday We gonna party like it's yo birthday We gonna sip Bacardi like it's your birthday

I have never been so de-motivated before in my life. I thought I’d sunk as low as I could go at the last job but this new one is freaking unbelievable (except for the pay). Someone, help me escape please??!! This week has just been beyond awful and I’m soooo glad it’s Friday!!!

I don’t know if I’ve suddenly become super popular or if our little world has widened its borders considerably but it seems like I haven’t had a quiet moment on a weekend in more than four months. I’m not complaining or anything… after all, this is why I whinge and whinge about missing Madras so much. But I’m just finding it a bit unusual here. I had to ditch my parents also on two nights when they were here because of social engagements… haha… social engagements… of course, they don’t mind. In Madras, they’re used to just catching brief glimpses of my sister and me as we rush between numerous social engagements… haha… social engagements.

So, my parents… what a trip that was. I am not conventionally close to my parents… I think I stopped talking to them for a few years between 13 and 18 – there was some serious bottled up teenage angst. And I think about it now, and I’m still not sure if I really had anything to be angsty about or if it was just pure drama because I felt that was how a teenager should be – moody, rebellious and monosyllabic. But this was only at home right… I was the total cheerleader prom queen singing club president at school… I got involved in anything and everything… a lot of the times because I really enjoyed it, you know, like singing and acting and all… and other times just to alleviate the boredom of school by being involved in everything. Oh man, I’d love to tell you about my holier-than-thou Convent school one day… but not today.

So anyway, the relationship improved drastically since I moved away from home and last year when I went home I was shocked at how mellow and complacent they’d gotten with mini me (my friends would call her that because she’s often a spitting image)! And she like totally rules the roost at home… I mean, come on… I might’ve paved the way and everything but she is like in a totally different league of getting her way.

But so apparently I totally bossed them around on their visit and I’m like, well, did they not boss me around for the first 20 years of my life? The tables will always turn. My children will surely boss over me… or not… I’m not as easy as my mom. But then again, there was Holly and Chocolate and Rusty… one puppy dog look and I’m wrapped around their paw. Children quite possibly have the same power of the puppy dog look. But anyway, they fully exaggerate – I did not boss them around. And did I mention that in general, my parents are quite nuts. They’re not into formality of any kind and sometimes when my father speaks, I want the earth to open up and swallow me whole. And my mother is SMS trigger happy and it just totally killed her she hardly had anyone to SMS.

I was certainly pampered to a certain extent. My mom cooked a few meals and my dad took us all out for dinner all the other meals and I’m still happily living off leftovers – I never want to cook again… sigh :-S

They also bought me two more items of furniture and patience dear reader, all will be delivered and set up within the next two weeks and then all photos will go up for public viewing.

Anyway, they’ve only hopped across to New Zealand and they’ll be back in all their glory in a couple of weeks.

So my birthday week was lots of fun… with my dad around there’s drinking every night but of course I can’t really get drunk, not that they’d notice really… went out for dinner on my birthday eve to the Mexican place and downed a whole pitcher of Margaritas and then we stayed up as usual until midnight and my parents insisted on staying up too and then I got all my presents and cards. Had the day off on my birthday after two years and spent it very lazily and then had to get everything ready for the party.

The party was quite mad. I measure its success by the number of people who were beyond the limits of wastedness… someone kept forcing these strange shots called Jager bombs into my hand at the pub we went to after my house. Now there’s this Jagermeister stuff and what I think was happening is that you get a mug of beer and a shot of Jagermeister and you have to drop the Jagermeister in the beer mug (it makes the most delightful sounding plop) and drink it together as the potent Jager bomb. It was great fun even though it tasted like shit. I couldn’t do more than three.

Here’s a sneak preview of the house… haha… the dining table all set up

My huge ass cake…

The next night went to someone else’s house party and met two adorable Labs. One of them just chased people with a plate all night and since the other one was a guest, he very reluctantly had to stop following the other one around every time his owner called him. Oh my god, I miss dogs!! I don’t know that any dog of mine could ever be so well-behaved though – they would just be my ruination with their puppy dog looks.

Spent this week recovering and another action packed weekend ahead with left over painting, another birthday party and general planning for a bachelorette party the weekend after. So if there is plan anytime between now and January, please book me in now only (I don’t know who I’m talking to since only three people I know in Melbourne visit this blog)!!

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun. Shine on you crazy diamond…

Yay… I have been tagged… just when I was beginning to doubt my popularity in blogworld with no one tagging me :-( But, I have to ask, why is it 8 things about oneself? I don’t know if I have that many things to say… or maybe I have more. Let’s see how it goes…

1. I love my new phone so much I want to make babies with it. On Friday night, I was treating it like a real person and flipped it open every time anyone said anything exciting… and did I mention I can have any mp3 as my ring tone just by copying it over from the computer (look, these things have probably been possible for a long time with other phones but its my first time, ok?! Till now, I had to make do with Nokia standard ring tones… for some reason I couldn’t even download ring tones)!!! And, I have a guitar theme set and every time I flip it open and snap it shut, there’s a cool little guitar strum. Oh my god, my phone rocks (as does my boyfriend for getting it for me)!!
   
2. I care about stray dogs with no one to love them a hell of a lot more than I care about homeless people.
   
3. I am convinced I’m going to die of a slow, horrible cancer death one day but that doesn’t stop me from drinking, smoking cigarettes or smoking weed!! I have this great hope that a lot of people our generation have that someone somewhere will invent the miracle cure by the time all this shit goes down. I am also convinced I will have diabetes but that I can blame on heredity at least!!
   
4. At least twice a year my parents ask me when I’m getting married so they can plan and give people overseas enough notice and I just tell them that I haven’t even thought about it and will make up my mind in a year or so… I’ve been doing this for at least two years now and they’re getting more and more paranoid and advising me about biological ticking fertility clocks and they gasp in horror when I say there’s certainly no way I’m having children until I’m 35. The thing is I’ve already decided the year I’m getting married and I’ve already told my family and friends overseas to keep the year free for a trip to India and I’ve even planned little details in my head like what music will play when I walk down the aisle and what the wedding invitation will look like and I’ve decided to have my first child when I’m 30… ok that’s only 5 years away… scratch that and make it 31. So I’m not sure why I want them to be the last to know like this?!
   
5. I am the polar opposite of an atheist and fully believe in God and Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church and Heaven and Hell. Each day more (I am not sure if that phrase makes sense) that I live in sin sends me one step closer to Hell and sometimes it really keeps me up at night when I can’t get to sleep. And believe me it’s not as simple as saying Sorry to the priest at Confession.
   
6. Earlier this year, we decided we’re moving back to India in 2 years. At the time, it seemed the most obvious decision and I didn’t even have to think about it – it just felt right. Ever since, I have been having such a good time in Australia I’ve started having all these doubts like will I find a good job with a kick ass salary, will I be able to work those long 10 hour days and 6 day weeks, will I even be able to communicate properly with this maid I want so desperately considering my really sad level of Tamil, etc. etc. I’m not changing my decision but making this kind of decision always opens your eyes to the little things you love so much about a place. When I knew I was leaving Madras, I fell so madly in love with it. I know I’m leaving Australia and I’m falling madly in love with Melbourne and am already looking forward to trips I’ll make here once every few years. The grass man… why does it have to always look greener when really it’s all the same kind of muddy brown??!!
   
7. A certain addiction has bloomed very late in life for me… it’s called shopping! I’ve never been this way before. A huge aspect to this was money… I loved getting new things but if I knew I didn’t have money I wouldn’t even bother with window shopping. But ever since they started paying me oodles of cash at this new job, a long suffering caged animal has been set free and my mind says be still, my spending heart. After one such shopping expedition, Mr. Moonlight politely pointed out that I’d spent more in one afternoon than the average Indian worker makes in a year. This made me feel bad for about 2 seconds before I set out on my next romp – hey, I got the cash, I’m gonna spend it. The thing is though I’ve always had hoards and hoards of clothes – I just love clothes and because I have so many I don’t wear a particular item often and so it doesn’t get washed that many times a year and so I still have tops in mint condition from when I was 18 (and they do still fit!!). Clothes I know I will absolutely never wear again I donate but these 7 year old ones that still look good, I still wear now and then. But this addiction only became painfully apparent in the last two months when I couldn’t get my monthly clothes fix anymore because I had to save all this money for the outstanding payment on the house. So I avoid going into all clothes stores now – it’s really hard because I walk past a lot of them every day. And the other day I drove my parents to the mall and guess who ended up buying anything? I’ll give you a hint – it wasn’t the holidaymakers. But on this point, I have to say I’m not a shoe fanatic like most women. I have about 10 pairs that I use on a regular basis. Surely most women have at least 30? But anyway, I had to get my monthly fix from somewhere these last two month and it’s called furniture… muahahahahaha… unfortunately for poor Mr. Moonlight, he had to contribute towards this fix of mine too!
   
8. When people say way to go on buying your first home so young, I kinda shrug and say, yeah well… But inside I am secretly more proud than I’ve ever been before of anything, that I owned my first home before I was 25. Now I’m just hoping I won’t have to sell it by the time I’m 26 the rate at which I’m spending :-)
   

So to pass on the tag, I tag Tartrazina, JR, Jay, DnA, AB, Jax, The Box and Wanderstruck… I hope at least two of you do it!

When Im tired and thinking cold (substitute with feeling old) I hide in my music, forget the day And dream of a girl I used to know

I closed my eyes and she slipped away

What am I doing blogging on my birthday? Well it's like this... my boyfriend and friend have abandoned me for work/student pursuits and my parents take like forever to get ready when they're on holiday!!! So I thought, now is a good time as any for the pearls of a quarter century of wisdom to pour forth... Yes, I laugh too at the pomposity of the last statement!! What pearls? What wisdom? Is there any such direct relationship between age and wisdom? I don't really think so... I think the only great thing about age is the pragmatic way you begin to start looking at things that just never used to happen when I was 10 or 12 or 14 or even 18. Those are the girls that slipped away.

So maybe that's what wisdom is... who knows, who cares. All I know is I'm 25 and certainly not feeling as exuberant as I normally feel on a birthday but I could be feeling this way just for the sake of drama also... :-)

There's just been so much happening with my parents' visit and work and what not. Tonight is big party as usual and will update next week on all the events/presents/etc.

But I just have to say, I am the proud owner of a brand new Nokia 6131 (courtesy Mr. Moonlight) which is one of them flip ones and I've just been dying for a flip phone for a while and this is the first time in my life I'm owning a funky phone while the model is still new and funky... haha... I love my new baby and will christen it sometime...

Happy Birthday baby sister!!! (well, when she was just 17, you know what I mean, and the way she looked, was way beyond compare)

I get by with a little help from my friends… I get high with a little help from my friends… do you need anybody...

Dandenong Road is slowly receding into the background… the big move was begun on Saturday evening and completed on Sunday night at about 10:30 pm. Right now I cannot walk without bumping into some item or the other. I have too much stuff… I’ve always known this but this time has scared even me. And I have thrown/donated all I could… and I am the most sentimental of people and will keep even one ugly button if it was presented to me with love and affection by someone I love and have affection for… but this time I was merciless when packing and threw away a lot of junk that let’s face it, I was never really into and only kept because it was presented… my adoring baby sister has given me a number of dog curios over the years and yes, baby sister, I love dogs and you bought me these things so lovingly because you know I love dogs… but I think you also know I only love real dogs and only big ones at that so sorry fake dogs, but in the rubbish go you. And stuffed toys… don’t even go there… mostly from my father… dear man always bought us something on Valentines Day that invariably involved a stuffed animal… and when I was tearing the room apart sorting through things, I found so many of them and they just annoyed me no end… that someone dear has bought you these things and there’s really no room in your life for tacky sentimental items anymore because it just won’t suit the décor and they’re just one more dust trap making your cleaning life that much harder… so I just threw them away… one after the other… and my farewell speech was “go f*@# yourself teddy bear”!! Like I said, just finding so many of them and having to throw them away just really annoyed the hell out of me… Haha, I also found these really dreadful unidentifiable stuffed items from the Royal Melbourne Show we went to in 2003… it’s an annual fair and we went that year on my birthday thinking there’d be some cool rides but the rides were really really sad… and people have actually died once or twice because they’re so old and faulty… but we decided Mr. Moonlight absolutely had to win me a stuffed toy as they do in Archie comics and of course he spent more money trying to win than those miserable unidentifiable stuffed items could ever cost… but it was just for the fun of it all… anyway, I said “go f*@# yourselves” to them too… they were like bright orange and pink and really did not look like anything remotely human or animal.

Anyway, finally everything was moved out after some 300 trips… and we hired professional cleaners, thank god… cleaning the old place would’ve just about finished me off this weekend… not that I wasn’t completely and utterly exhausted anyway… but I saw it all clean and smelling fresh and compared it with the new place that doesn’t have one square inch of free space at the moment and smells strongly of paint, and I just wanted to throw myself on the newly steam cleaning carpet and go to sleep for a week!

So yes, the painting… what a far out experience that was. It was really hard work but also lots of fun… I’ve decided it’s going to only be a once in a lifetime experience though. But then again, we are now indebted to everyone who helped us and if ever they decide to paint their own house, we will certainly pitch in… but after our little experience on Friday, I think everyone is well aware of all the pros and cons… So we started at 2 pm and finished around 2 am… I didn’t even know I had it in me to keep at something for 12 hours… it wasn’t a perfect job… tons of touch up work to be done… but we pretty much painted everything we set out to paint… except for my dark trim… sob sob… sacrifices had to be made… that is my own personal project but and I will make it happen!!! But most importantly, we couldn’t have done it without all the wonderful people who turned up to help us (and also to help us move)… only some two of them know of this blog, but anyway, thanks guys! Maybe I’ll tell you about them… I’d be quite interested to see what I have to say about them myself because most of them are people I’ve met here and haven’t really spoken about before in terms of what they’re like…

We had the day off on Friday for the so called “settlement” of the house and to begin the painting… so we started off by picking up our perpetually jobless friend… let’s call him Sam. He’s not unemployed but he’s a student so he only works part-time and has Fridays off and class like once a week or something… he’s not really a new friend. He was Mr. Moonlight’s friend from college and I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known Mr. Moonlight… he is, of course, best friend, recently departed housemate, and in general our fellow Madras person… we partied our asses off together, drank shitloads of rowdy rum together, smoked shitloads of weed together, hung out with a lot of the same people at all the same discos and parties, and met up every single day for an afternoon smoke and then we’d go to Coffee for cold coffee… oh man, I miss the cold coffee at Coffee… by the time he arrived in Australia in 2004 he’d quit smoking weed which was a huge shocker and had taken up smoking cigarettes like they were going out of style which was a bigger shocker and he’d also switched from rum to whiskey… why am I the only one who still loves rum?? So he was housemate until a few weeks ago and we had many fun times here too… and we actually smoked hash together the other night… it was my first hash night in Australia… apparently its really expensive but some friend of Sam’s had some… so we smoked lots and Sam eventually passed out cos it’s been a while. Anyway, that’s our friend Sam…

So the three of us went to Amici and ate the usual and waited for the agent to ring and say settlement had happened so we could pick the keys up. This settlement is a big anticlimax. The previous day we went and left the cheque for the remaining amount and that’s all… there was no formal signing over/handing over of keys or anything. I was quite disappointed. So when she finally rang, we just looked at each other and said Homeowner… we just did that the whole weekend… I like saying it… homeowner… hehe… I want the MSN emoticon for hehe to go here… you would only understand if you saw it bobbing about… Rat and I chat on MSN everyday and almost everything we say is followed by a hehe…

Anyway, we arrived at new apartment and the first person to arrive to assist was photographer by profession pal… let’s call him Shutterbug. Shutterbug is my friend from school days and he is of the alcohol/smoke/drug free variety… he gets very high on life though and if you were ever around in Madras between 97-99, you might’ve noticed the guy with the chessboard shaved into the hair or sometimes the concentric circles, dancing near the speakers at a party or disco… he was perfect designated driver and he would insist on walking us girls to our doorsteps even if it was after dropping us off from rowing at 9 in the freaking morning!!! But that’s Shutterbug for you… his charm lies in his old fashioned chivalry and other eccentricities… :-) so he read my blog last week and called to offer assistance and I was quite happy to have him along to bring some method to the madness… he’s always been quite good at bringing method to madness…

However, this painting an apartment thing is no easy job and by about 6:30 pm, we weren’t even close to halfway done and Shutterbug had to leave and we awaited our second shift of happy helpers. First among these was the guy who used to live in Geelong… he now claims that Melbourne is the Big City and Geelong is the City of the Future… hehe… I have decided anyhow to name him Big City Dude on this blog… he spent his childhood in Africa, his adolescence in Kiwiland and moved to Australia about 3 years ago which is when we met him through common friends… I am at quite a loss to describe Big City Dude… he is at once most hilarious and fun and also quite peculiar and random… I think the hilarity for me lies in all the peculiar random things he says… at a lot of the times we hang out, you will find me simply shaking my head in wonderment at his newest bizarre theory… he had a metaphor once about dance performances and group emails… I won’t even try to explain… but he did follow it up with a short demo of classical Indian dance and by then we were laughing too hard to care… hahaha

Next to arrive was fellow blogger and Beatles enthusiast… you will find him under Blogger Buddies as Rael Imperial Aerosol Kid and this is some arcane reference to something I’m not very sure about so I have decided to name him Guitarman on this blog… he has another new nickname that is really most amusing but he will probably kill me if I publish that on the world wide web so I will refrain… Guitarman is also from Madras but we only met him in Melbourne and it’s really one of those random small world chance meetings… Guitarman and Sam used to be neighbours as children or teenagers many many years ago in Madras and one night Mr. Moonlight, Sam and I were chilling on some bench in the city hungrily eating our subs after an evening of watching Saturday Night Fever – The Musical… hehe… I’ve forced these boys to do many things they wouldn’t normally do ever… but guess who ended up shaking their booty through all the musical numbers… but I digress… so Guitarman was going to cross the street and he was with this other friend of Mr. Moonlight’s and mine from Madras and we yelled out her name and we were just talking and next thing we know Guitarman and Sam are all over each other like ants on a jar of honey… of course, I exaggerate… but so anyway, long story short, Sam and Guitarman got reacquainted… by general proximity and love of all things alcoholic and herbs, Mr. Moonlight and I also became friends with Guitarman… and naturally I have named him Guitarman because he plays the guitar really well and I cannot count the number of singing sessions we’ve had… the latest song he’s learnt is One and since that is currently everyone’s favourite song (I’m not entirely sure why) we just force him to keep playing it… Oh, and Sam, Big City Dude and Guitarman are now housemates and they’re the cutest little family ever… sometimes it’s hard to see the jar of honey because of the ants all over it… kidding, kidding!!!

By about 8:30 pm, the base coat was mostly completed except for two bedrooms but we’d also ditched base coat for a few of the living room walls because they’d been painted recently. This killed my obsessive compulsive Virgoan trait of everything being done exactly the same way but fatigue and common sense prevailed…

Enter two new labourers… she is a bohemian free spirit type video editor who I met through common friends and he is her boyfriend who I’ve only met twice so can’t really say anything about him except he seems really nice… I shall name her Flower Child… I’ve only been hanging out with her in the last five months or so and the first time we were both totally wasted so I thought, well here’s a chick I can finally drink with. Alas, the next time she was drinking Bacardi Breezers… and I said why, why, why would anyone do this? And she said, we drink for very different reasons Penny Lane… it seems she drinks because she likes the taste. I know there are lots of people who do this, women in particular… I am just so not one of them. Anyway, it kinda works that she’s not that drunk while I’m always super toasted… she faithfully listens to all the extra shit I have to say when I’m drunk. When two people are really drunk it often happens that both of them say a lot of shit that neither of them pays much attention to.

Oh, I forgot to mention… at some point in the evening, 24 bottles of beer arrived… I had grave concerns about drunken helpers spilling beer on the walls instead of paint but an admirable job was done in spite of the beers going down like water. I didn’t drink because I found it way too hard to hold a paintbrush in one hand and a beer bottle in the other and simultaneously climb onto the stool to reach the upper wall.

By about 10:30 pm we reached the last stage of our painting marathon… the soothing Beige Drop was on most of the walls and only the skirting and corners and edges needed to be completed as also the feature wall. Our final two helpers arrived bringing a fresh second wind with the rest of us being totally over the whole thing. He originally studied with Mr. Moonlight for the final two years of high school in Madras and then came over to Australia for his undergrad. They had completely lost touch and they both got the surprise of their lives when someone in common reunited them in Melbourne in 2002 when we arrived… Madras is just the smallest little village I tell ya… that’s why I love it and why a lot of people hate it… She is now his wife and they started going out about five months after we arrived and just tied the knot a couple of months ago in a civil ceremony… that was their first wedding… they’re having two more weddings in Delhi and Malaysia in November and I really really wanted to go but many constraints have held me back, the strongest of which is finance. So now they keep referring to each other as oh, my husband, oh, my wife… kinda like our homeowner thing… and I just find it really funny… I shall name them Bonnie & Clyde… no reason… that’s the first ‘couple’ name that popped into my head…

So finally we packed it all in by 2:00 am… the last wall to be painted was the feature wall… I applied the inaugural strokes of the delicious Palm Sugar and then went off to start cleaning and left the rest of the crew to finish it up… I didn’t take any pictures because at the start there was nothing to take pictures of and at the end I was covered so much in paint I wasn’t going to let my fingers anywhere near my camera. Also, I really want to finish all the touching up and the dark trim and receive all my new furniture first and set up the house really awesomely so it looks likes a picture for one of those Home & Country magazines.

But anyway, it was fun :-) And these friends of ours quite truly rock!

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind… Does that make me crazy… Probably…

You know you’ve reached a different phase in your life when little Do It Yourself (DIY) home projects get you all excited and keep you up at night.

Well, don’t get me wrong… I am and always will be a wild child. Even when I am a tottering old grandmother bouncing a grandchild on either knee, I will be saying “Bring on the drinks and let the good times roll…”!!

But ever since we paid the deposit on the apartment, all I can think of is how to do the place up, what to buy, where to place it, etc. etc. And it doesn’t end with this apartment… I’ve been glancing through a few home design idea books and I’ve picked up a huge number of ideas for that ultimate dream house of mine that I intend to start building in less than 10 years.

But that’s some time away. For now, let me tell you about all the things I’ve been doing in the last month in preparation for this big move into the new place. So first I said, well now I surely require some new furniture particularly since I now have two spare bedrooms to furnish.

When I was a student I had absolutely no furniture… we slept on a mattress and I had a $5 computer table and $10 chest of drawers and we had some other miscellaneous dining table/desk/shelves/TV table/low bar stools items that totalled $100. We also had some mattresses lying around the living room which is what we sat on… I’m not sure where these came from. We certainly didn’t buy them.

Then once we started working, we decided to buy furniture… but furniture, even cheap furniture, when you try to buy it all at one go, is really expensive. Anyway, we went and bought a two-seater couch, a couple of chairs that were more like outdoor furniture lounge chairs, a couple of lamps, a proper home entertainment stand, and a bed. My father visited and slept on my mattress and said that mattress was going to kill me as it did his back and he bought me a new one. He also bought us a bean bag which I love – its bright green and yellow and made from vintage 70s fabric – I really need to get it fixed though… it has been looking most limp for many months.

So now it is time for me to completely upgrade my living room and get rid of the remaining reminders of Ikea which I truly hate because it is too closely associated with being a frugal student… if you look at any uni buy/sell website, all you’ll see will be Ikea bed for sale, Ikea mattress for sale, almost new Ikea couch, as new Ikea potato peeler… yes, potato peeler… there are people who try to sell every last item in their house before they return overseas.

So anyway, the couch we upgraded a month or so ago. We bought a really nice dining set a year ago… it was such a good deal and it’s still being sold in store at almost the same price a year later. And now, I have bought a few other items, the biggest of which is a brand new bedroom suite so I can put my current bedroom suite in one of the spares. We have upgraded to a Queen size bed… I am looking forward to the extra room :-) The most annoying thing about ordering furniture is that everything takes about 6 weeks to arrive. So now I have only received my bar stools which are so yummy looking and this weekend we pick up the bedroom suite but I have to wait I’m not sure how long before I receive my new custom fabric armchairs and funky coffee table and these are really the items that will tie my living room together. Haha, watched a bit of The Big Lebowski the other night – when his dirty old rug gets peed on, his friend keeps saying ‘that rug really tied the room together dude’.

So that’s on the furniture side… there’s still plenty more items I’m planning but for now this is all we can afford. Furniture is still really expensive especially since we aren’t even going in for the cheaper Ikea options… Mr. Moonlight has decided he is carrying around this furniture with us to wherever we go for the rest of our lives. Mr. Moonlight also forcibly closes my eyes if we drive past a furniture/home improvement store...

On the DIY side, we went to check out the apartment again a couple of weekends ago and saw it all empty and as happens with apartment inspections, you will never fully notice/remember important details about the comfort, etc. of an apartment until you live there so it’s always a huge gamble. Anyway on this visit, we found out the previous tenants who’d lived there for FIVE years had decided not to give a damn about anything, particularly cleaning, and the walls looked awful and the carpet was downright filthy. The carpet, I’d always been quite sceptical about the colour and intended to change it as soon as we saved up for it and the walls Mr. Moonlight intended to paint before we moved all our stuff in.

So I started choosing paint colour schemes and was absolutely certain I wanted a feature wall and finally have chosen the combination below. That’s not my apartment, just from some paint website and the dark trim looks uneven cos I hurriedly did that in Photoshop.



So in the last two weekends, I have found out all there is to know about paint. I understand the basics of colour theory and primary and secondary and tertiary colours and what not and I know what kind of sheen level of paint is suited for what kind of surface. The only thing left to do is go in and paint the damn thing which is planned for this Friday. Every paint expert we’ve spoken to in the shops has said at least a weekend is required for a whole apartment by a professional. But us amateurs have ONE afternoon/evening… the voice in my head says, “Be afraid, be very afraid”. And we will literally have no choice but to watch paint dry.

We would’ve had at least two days if we hadn’t gotten overexcited and signed up for new carpet also. So the paint’s gotta dry before the carpet layer arrives on Saturday morning. But I’m really happy about the new carpet cos now the apartment will feel almost new with new paint and carpets. I now also know a lot about carpets and the difference between polypropylene, nylon, wool and wool blend. I have been introduced to underlay, broadloom meters, and dodge beige. We just walked into a couple of carpet stores to get a quote and before I knew it, Mr. Moonlight and Carpet King started heated negotiations with the full-on numbers on paper being passed back and forth thing and we became the proud owners of new carpet.

So this weekend is going to be very hands on with painting and moving and it’s all gotta happen seamlessly or we’re screwed. I intend to take before and after pictures and hopefully it will come out looking like how it does on those DIY TV shows. If not, I will not be putting up any pictures.

And finally, thanks to all of the above, I am more broke than I have ever been… and it doesn’t end here because there’s still more things to buy like linen and bathroom and kitchen accessories AND my parents are coming to visit me in 3 weeks…

As the voice in my head keeps repeating, “Be afraid, be very afraid”.

Me and you and a dog named Boo…

People actually read this blog it seems :-) Got a few messages of sympathy and surprisingly from a few non-bloggers as well. So I’m still sad and now I’ve been remembering more and more little things about her. I remember that time when we were renovating and she had to stay on at home in the midst of all the workers and rubble and dust for six months… she didn’t really mind… she had company… but she’d go nuts when we visited her… one time, we were still in the car with the windows down and she just leaped into the car from three feet away through the window… and after the first three months of living with aunt and grandparents, we moved into this apartment just down the road from my house… it was about 10 houses away but it was still down the road and you had to take a left… and I don’t know how, but somehow she found her way there and she’d run up the backstairs and whine at the back door until we let her in… she did this a number of times while we were living there and she always found her way there and back… cos, I’m sure she tried even when we weren’t home… she was one smart cookie and she was the most relieved when we all moved back in with her and everything got back to normal.

And this other time when I had friends over, she ran out and Holly ran out too but Holly came back and warned me and so my boyfriend (who shall hereafter be known as Mr. Moonlight (also a song by the Beatles)) and Kat went down the street in the car to get her and Kat gets out of the car and politely says to Chocolate... "Chocolate, get in the car please. Chocolate, get in the car.." and Chocolate just looks at him as if to say "Are you for real, dude..." And then Mr. Moonlight had to get out and forcibly pick her up and put her in the car. This story is not so much about Chocolate as it is about Kat but it always cracks me up.

And now I’d like to share some thoughts from my aunt and uncle on Chocolate’s passing that really made me smile.

So sorry that our friend Chocolate has left but we imagine she is having a great party with a host of her friends—Uncle Ralph, Appachen, Teddy, Dinky, John Lennon and so many more that were dear to us. Gizmo says he doesn’t like all this talk about our friends leaving as he is very hesitant to go to the other side! But he sends you a sloppy, smelly kiss and an equally smelly fart as that is how he consoles himself in times of sadness (ask Mama, she will tell you all about him).

And from Uncle Phil…

As Rita says, Gizmo is hesitant to cross over to the other side—but he definitely has one paw in the grave. Teddy keeps coming to him in his dreams, bringing messages from the other world. Sometimes they are cryptic—like the one where Teddy was wearing a astronaut suit and carrying a case of beer—but others are more direct, like when he told Gizmo that Dinky recently persuaded Uncle Lon’s big red dog to join him in chasing celestial butterflies. So Uncle Lon — almost always accompanied by his trusty dog—went looking for his furry pal. He was supposed to usher our Uncle Ralph to the Uncle’s Banquet (Teddy said they serve every uncle’s favorite dish—every time—and the food is heavenly at that), but the two uncles went looking for that big red dog together instead. By the time they caught up with the red dog, they had to settle for some chaat and hot dogs on the roadside (but even roadside fare is divine where they are.)

Anyway, Gizmo suspected something was up with Chocolate, as Holly told Teddy to hold all of her calls as a new guest had arrived.

That’s all Gizmo told me. Then he fell asleep and is dreaming now as I type this.

They’re mad… they’re coming to visit me in December… I can’t wait. Oh, and Uncle Ralph was Phil’s uncle who passed away recently and Uncle Lon is a family friend uncle they met when they were visiting India and apparently he had a big red Irish Setter he was very attached to but I have absolutely no recollection of this dog. Anyway, both Uncle Lon and the big red dog also passed away some years ago. Dinky was Rita’s dog and Gizmo’s best friend and Teddy was my first dog who died a few years ago. Gizmo is the only one still soldiering on… he must be at least 13 years old and he can’t be left alone and he goes to doggy daycare when they’re at work. He was even in therapy for a while… he has a lot of issues… he’s taken the skin off my nose whenever I visited him and annoyed him… and he hated my sister… haha…

This is Gizmo. He looks dead, but he’s not.



P.S. I was going to title the post something else and then this song played on Party Shuffle... Celestial forces at play courtesy Teddy??… I’d like to think so.

Little wild one, I’ll come back to you

Chocolate has died… she passed away quietly on Saturday morning… she was 10 years old… she was the most loyal dog a family could have… she loved us all as we loved her… she watched as we welcomed dogs to the family and she watched as their time was up before her… now she gets to join them all in doggy heaven…

Dearest Chocolate

You were my best friend for all the years you were with me… I was in madly in love with you to begin with… you entered my life at a time I really needed you… you were funny and naughty and mad and that’s why I called you my little wild one… do you remember me singing that to you all the time… surprisingly, after we welcomed a little puppy who was even naughtier than you, you seemed to realise your frolicking days were up and it was time you tried to set an example for the new brat… so you became the mature, obedient one… you came when we called… you got up quietly and went out when we told you to go outside… and you always welcomed us with a smile and a cold nose touch when you saw us… even until recently when it became so painful for you to get up and walk… you taught me a lot about love and commitment and responsibility… I’m going to feel very sad when I get home and you’re not there to greet me… you always knew, every time I came back on a holiday, you were so glad I was so back… you remembered me so well… you remembered me as the one you loved the most who’d seemingly gone away one day… you remembered me because of your unfailing devotion to me… dear little Chocolate… I hope you have been reunited with all the others from the family… are you with Fudge and Teddy and Biscuit and Snoopy and Dinky and Jeanie and Max and Ginger… I bet Holly led the welcome wagon because she loved you as much as we loved you… there will always be an empty space in Fort Knox because no one can ever replace what you meant to us all… Goodbye dear Chocolate and please continue to take care of us from above…

I keep waiting for it to hit me… when I first heard she was sick a week ago and realised she was going to die soon, I sobbed my heart out. When I found out that she had gone, I shed a tear and that was it… I just felt so sad, like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders… and anything I see on TV about chocolate reminds me of her and makes me sadder but I still can’t cry… when Holly died I cried bucket loads for weeks and I can conjure up the tears for her even now… why can’t I cry for Chocolate? Because my love for her is a much deeper, steadier love… the grief is mingled with relief that her suffering was ended… so now, I just feel a huge emptiness when I think of her… and returning to my home will never be the same without her sweet loyal face at the gate as a welcome… Goodbye dear Chocolate… you will always be my little wild one and one day I’ll come back to you, I promise.

Here are all the pictures I could find of her online... Most of my pictures of her are pre-digital era...

Here she is 3-4 years ago with her good friend Holly... she was still smiling then and she was healthy and strong



Here she is play fighting with Rusty last December in a rare display of energy. Well, the energy was all from Rusty's end really... all she did was growl menacingly at him... and you'll notice Rusty all set to spring... he never got beyond getting set because he took her quite seriously and knew she wouldn't take him jumping her...



There's the growl... watch it, young punk... I've been there, done that...



This was her favourite rug to lie on downstairs in the washbasin area...



She never lost her appetite... This is a piece we call "Dog & The Bone"



She used to feel cold in her old age at nights... I bought her that dog sweater as a joke gift ages ago never thinking she'd actually need to use it :) This was her other favourite spot... on the warm rug outside my parent's bedroom. Of course her most favourite spot was my bed but for the last couple of years, she had all kinds of sores on her body so it wasn't hygienic for her to sleep in the same bed as humans, poor baby.



This is my favourite most recent picture of her... how sweetly she stretches...



Also, one year ago, my Appachen passed away on this day. We still miss you and think of you everyday. Rest in peace, Appachen & Chocolate...

If I leave here tomorrow... Would you still remember me... For I must be travelling on now... Cos there’s too many places I’ve gotta see

So the weekend before, we had a house leaving party (a lot of people insist on calling it a house cooling party as opposed to a house warming party but I think house cooling sounds horribly uncool)… Anyway, I had a really awesome time and all… in fact, I didn’t stop drinking until 7 in the morning… and a lot of people showed up… and I laughed a lot… and we sang a lot… and my photographer friend took a few hundred photos…



But in the midst of all the madness, whenever I remembered what the party was about, the melancholy took over and it was all I could do not to tear up and start lamenting the loss of this oh-so-warm home of mine… of course, I did end the night in tears but that’s a whole other story and quite irrelevant to this post.



It’s hard to explain my peculiar attachment to this house of mine… it’s just an average two bedroom apartment off the block… it must be about six years old which isn’t too old but quite old for my demanding modernity standards… we leased it in quite a hurry… after all, it was a lot bigger than the old one and the master bedroom actually had an ensuite bathroom which I thought was a luxury I’d involuntarily given up forever the day I left my home in Madras… but on the evening we started moving in two years ago (almost to the day), I noticed a lot of things I hadn’t noticed before… the carpets were moderately stained (and to which, stains have since been generously added by the number of parties we’ve had)… some of the wood was chipping… a few of the lights didn’t work… the guy who’d vacated hadn’t put too much into cleaning it for the new tenants… it was high ceilinged, so that was just begging for cold draughts of air... even the water tasted funny (and it still does… and its impossible to get cold water out of the freaking tap… and I’m addicted to ice cold water… tepid water I can’t even swallow)… and worst of all, it was located in a completely alien suburb and I felt quite sure I’d never enjoy living here…

You see, before this, my entire universe was centred on the Melbourne CBD… my first awful apartment on Swanston Street and my university not even 3 minutes away walking… that apartment was truly dreadful… it was the size of my finger… but the convenience of living next door to city life was incomparable… not that I had any money to enjoy city life… but still, the bright shiny lights were right outside my doorstep…

After six months of living like sardines though we moved just up the street and right to good ol' Lygon Street. Compared to Swanston, the Lygon Street apartment was like a mansion... and it was all sparkly and shiny and brand new and I thought I'd never want to live anywhere ever again... I quickly grew to love the area... it wasn't the poshest or even the nicest of areas... Carlton is notorious for mob activity and theft in general and we've witnessed our share of car chases... not the actual cars, but choppers flying all over the place and us having an illegal smoke on our balcony with the light shining down on us and wondering if our number was finally up... good times :)... paranoid times, but good... our car was broken into twice in our alleged secure basement carpark... but still, it was all quite safe and we walked home late at night from the restaurant/shopping part of Lygon Street many many times... my university was now a 10 minute tram ride away but 10 minutes in the life of a student is negligable... of course, paying for the tickets was a huge unwarranted expense and that's when I started that whole deal with God thing about fare evasion :)

But the most important thing of all was I absolutely loved heading home... walking up to the entrance and through the front door always made me feel welcome... it was clean so we tried our best to keep it clean... there are some aspects to my personality that are rather Monica Geller like in terms of getting mildly obsessive compulsive with cleaning... but in the old place I shocked myself at my complacency with collecting dirty dishes in the sink, not wiping the counters after cooking, never dusting or vaccuming... but all that changed and housemates of mine surely regret how I reverted to my natural ways... I became mildly obsessive compulsive again about the kitchen and my wrath at dirty kitchen counters and undisposed of garbage was not easy to deal with...

You see, this was the first time I felt like I had a home again after leaving my real home... and it was important to me to have the kind of home that made me want to go back to it... what else do you have to look forward to in a strange foreign country if not some place to call your own and make your own... we were always strange that way... other Indian students thought we were nuts when they saw the "fancy" place we lived in... most of them lived in disgusting little holes or an hour away from civilization... because of the rent, of course... as a struggling student, I had a strict stipend per month from home... this strict stipend was suggested by IDP as being more than enough and I know now who they spoke to to come up with this figure... the ones living in the dirty little holes... so here we were, shelling out half our monthly allowance on rent of all things... that left very little leftover for food/expenses/books/entertainment... but I never regretted it once... there was my beautiful apartment, a shining beacon of hope in the midst of all my homesickness and coursework and meagre social life... So until now we were still very focussed on Lygon Street and the CBD and I really had no clue what was outside these boundaries... on rare occassions I went down to Chapel Street or Smith Street or Sydney Road or St. Kilda Road and these were all slightly frightening adventures outside my comfort zone... they were also outside my "hood" so I always bought a tram ticket... and always, I breathed a sigh of relief as soon as I returned to familiar territory.

Then the unthinkable happened... I finished studying and was lucky to get a job almost immediately but this job was all the way down St. Kilda Road, past the CBD, on the other side of the Yarra River (you could almost call it the wrong side of the tracks for me). After almost two years of waking up whenever I felt like it I had to discipline myself to going to bed on time and waking up at 7:30 am so I could leave by 8:15 or so to get to work by 9:15. Yes, it took me the better part of an hour which just shows you what cruel tricks life can play on you… because distance wise, and if I was driving there, it would be all of 20 minutes. But thanks to the wonderfully slow trams that absolutely insist on stopping at every tram stop (which is at every block) and because I had to cross the city on the way and since of course the city is full of thoughtful drivers who are always driving in the tram lane and slowing things down even more, it used to take me that long… And did I mention the sardine theme again every single morning and evening because I was travelling at peak hour? There was simply no relief until I was 3 blocks away from work or home by which point it didn’t matter… I did this for about 2 months before deciding I just couldn’t go on and absolutely had to take the drastic decision of leaving Lygon Street and my beloved hood Carlton and moving to the other side of the city, the names of which suburbs I didn’t even know yet.

By the time we did move, it was something like six months… August 2004… Dandenong Road, Prahran… as I said, at first, I was miserable to move in… but in the first week of arriving at work/home within 12 minutes by tram including waiting time, it was quite easy to forget about Lygon Street (shame on my fickleness) J There were still annoyances such the tepid water and Dandenong Road being the busiest road leading to some few outer suburbs and being busy 24/7 so there was never any respite from traffic noise, but even this worked out in our favour because we could scream our heads off and sing our lungs out and have 20 people simultaneously talking on the balcony and there wouldn’t even be a polite knock from a neighbour asking us to keep it down… we took full advantage of this over two years and hosted a number of loud and rowdy events.

So you see, slowly but surely my universe shifted to this side of the city… I still went to the city for drinks and dinner and what not, on occasion, but I also started visiting more shops/restaurants/bars in my area… since my work was also in the area, we spent many a lunch hour roaming the streets of Chapel and High and Commercial (we shouldn’t leave St Kilda Road out of it too… remember the beautiful bay views)… it’s hard to explain exactly why it is so special… I guess everywhere else is just pretty boring and average… what you see is possibly the same thing you’ll see in other cities around Australia… but Prahran and South Yarra and especially Chapel Street are so eclectic and surprising, you just never know what you’re gonna get… and its my absolute favourite area to drive around looking at all the beautiful houses… at least 30 of my dream houses are located on Orrong Road and Toorak in general… this area is the playground of the very rich and even though I didn’t live in a multimillion dollar house, it still felt pretty good to tell people I lived in Prahran…

And this was the truest test of my love for this side of town… my new job is in the city… yet another cruel life trick… so now I sit (if ever I do get a seat) on the tram for 50 long minutes one way as I travel to work and back… and yes, it bothers me but not once have I ever felt like just escaping… well maybe, some mornings… but every evening, as soon I cross the Yarra, I don’t regret for a minute that my home is still half an hour away… after all, my home is in Prahran… my home is right next door to Chapel Street…
Do I visit Chapel Street every night or weekend? No…
Does that make a difference? No…
Is it enough just knowing its there? Yes…
Just like the beach in Madras, I suppose…
Could we ever get by in a non-coastal city even though we swam in the sea maybe thrice a year? No!

So anyway, our time together is almost up… Sep 1 is when I move… I’m moving to high-rise, non-unique, commercialised personified – Southbank! Why, after all this, am I leaving Prahran you ask? Because it wasn’t affordable in Prahran to buy the kind of place I could see myself living in… Yes, dear reader… I am now a first home owner – a fact that fills me with immense pride and intense dread, all at the same time. And even though Prahran was not really affordable, there were a couple in my old hood Carlton that might’ve worked but I just couldn’t bear the thought of moving to that side of the city again after having lived on this side… this side rocks… that side is seemingly dark and depressing now even though I didn’t know any better then… so anyway, I had to compromise somewhere and Southbank it is… the best thing about Southbank is that work will be a 7 minute tram ride or a 20 minute walk… I see plenty of exercise potential… but anyway, the new place is a whole other story that I’ll save for later.

I think I forced everyone at the party to have a shot of some killer fruit punch (concocted by yours truly) as a tribute to the Dandenong Road house… now the apartment seems to know that I’m moving on and is reacting with uncharacteristic coldness and emptiness… Not to worry… it will always one of the dearest places I’ve lived in… I’m quite sure when its time for me to move on from Southbank I will feel a similar sadness and write about how I regretted leaving Prahran but finally ended up madly in love with Southbank, but that’s just the way I am J I get peculiarly attached to places which after all are just wood and carpet… I think it’s because I am at heart a most intransient being… I get comfortable someplace and never want to leave… I’ve lived in the same house in Madras my whole life and when I had to move out once for six months while renovating I thought my parents were being most unfair to me by kicking me out of my room… as it turned out it worked out well that I lived in Nungambakkam and Adyar for half that time because at least I got to have a very fun summer without having to deal with the annoying logistics issues that are part and parcel of living in Annanagar…

So whatever it is, it’s always hard for me to move on… but eventually I adapt and mostly it works out better than I expected… this is true of any change in my life… so what’s the lesson learned here… nothing… because even though I know I will adapt, it doesn’t stop me from feeling sad at leaving.

So whatever… goodbye Prahran… hello Southbank!