I'm not a perfect person...

Craziest thing happened the other day. Ok maybe not crazy per se but this freaking 'the reason' started playing on the radio and I was just like oh my god what is this song and which era of my life is it even from?? I figured pretty quickly it had been a one hit wonder but also knew I had probably listened to it on repeat about a 100 times. And magically the name of the band came to me. Hoobastank. Haha. What the hell kind of name is that??! I still couldnt really remember when or why it was popular!! But knowing me, it probably had something to do with some angsty issue or the other. Mind you, this is early 20s angst!! Not teenage angst!! Will the angst never end??!!

Great, I've now decided to continue with the angst theme and play these early 20s theme songs. The Blowers Daughter. The melody still haunts me!! I can't take my eyes off of you. I can't take my mind off of you What is it about the arrangment? I think it's the strings that really get you.

Anyway, angst and early 20s reminded me of another old favourite that for some reason is not on my iTunes anymore. How could this happen. This was THE song when I left home all those years ago. Can it really be 9 years??!! And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there... I have not felt this vulnerable in years. Not since those early lonely Carlton years... I'm really not even sure how I can get past it this time...

No trip down angst lane is complete without Coldplay. Yellow is also from that early era but then for a really long time there was nothing in that vein. And then suddenly the bell rang and it all went down... Nothing in my life I don't think can compare to what I had to let go, the way she really broke my heart without even meaning to. It was the hardest part.

Aaaaaah. I need to remember that I'm only blogging and I don't need to say it all in one post on one night but once the floodgates are opened... Anyway, I could go on about angst and come up with about a 100 other theme songs but I shall close with just a couple more...

This isnt really angsty. I actually think no song defines our relationship better than this. Apart from the fact they're not together when the song is being sung...

'Drinking with you when drinking was new'

'Wake up cold coffee and juice. Remembering you. What happened to you'

Ok so I really really loved this song when I discovered it but at least we've reached my mid 20s now. Oh it's what you do to me. Haha. That's definitely not my favourite part of the song. These are the lines that get me everytime.

'I'm by your side

Ive got so much left to say
Even more in love with me you'd fall.'

But this is the kicker...

'I'd walk to you if I had no other way'

So let me close with something I've recently discovered. But before all that, how can I not mention my darling puppy, the real Penny Lane... There are some times I think, oh my god, why did I choose responsibility over freedom (mainly on fri evenings) but one look at her adorable mug and I melt. There are no regrets. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I loved Holly and Chocolate and the ones when I was younger but nothing compares to actually doing every single for them day in and out and the unconditional love and complete dependence they provide in return. Just waiting and hoping. For their next meal or their next play... And that I think is the main difference between a child and puppy. The child will eventually grow up and need you less and less and completely lead their own lives which is a great thing but it just reminds me more acutely about how my Penny needs me for the rest of her life and that is not something that will change. My life would be incomplete without her to greet me every day and night, without her licking me every chance she gets and especially without her cuddling up to me late at night or early morning. Don't matter who's uncomfortable. As long as her head is resting on me and she feels safe and I feel loved...

So rock it till the break of day
This is why we play these games