Twilight

I haven't switched any of the lights on yet... the only illumination is from the white laptop screen... Outside, I see a streetlight has come on but I can still catch glimpses of the grey sky so the sun hasn't fully set yet... Something odd happens at this time... I have noticed that whenever I am not doing much at this time, I always get stuck in this twilight... suspended in the act of doing nothing if you like... until night sets in and the darkness envelops me and even then, I just continue to do nothing until I can't take the darkness anymore and have to switch on a light... I remember reading in my room... I continue to read until I can barely see the print (I'm not helping my eyesight condition much, I know)... and then, when I really can't read anymore, for some reason, I absolutely cannot switch on the light to continue reading... I just sit there in the twilight... Why? It's not a pleasant feeling... It's not like waking up on a Saturday morning with nothing to do so you just continue to lie in bed indefinitely... And yet, I can't shake myself of it... Like right now, there are bills to pay and clothes to iron and floors to vacuum but I can’t move… I’m just waiting… for total darkness… Maybe I do this because the feeling of twilight is so very oppressive and the darkness takes me down to such depths of despair that once I do switch on a light, I can’t help but feel better… or maybe I am just lazy and can’t be bothered to get up to switch the light on… it is completely dark now… outside and inside… the only lights are the streetlight and the laptop screen… How much longer shall I continue to sit like this?